for us. I think you call this coming full circle, I don't know, but it reminds me of that. My father was abusive as you know, and verbally abusive to my mom. My mom never expressed herself, still has trouble at 70 years old, to anyone. That was her problem and living with a depressed man, who was also verbally abusive didn't help. Although in the last 10 years he has changed. He's more of a mush, but my mother still has trouble "speaking up". He is like my ex in that they don't think about consequences, they just do things that seem exciting, almost to get that high, and wind up causing problems. Well, they are not doing well financially, he took out a loan for a car he couldn't afford. They are retired and not even middle class, I would say. So anyway, now they decided they have to sell their condo and go into a cheaper co-op. Their place, they were so lucky to get. She's got friends, goes on day trips, plays cards. Their pool area is like a resort. So, she says she'll think about it. Of course, he goes wild. Making phone calls, signs with a realtor to sell their house. My sister and I step in. He doesn't like. Tells us, it's their life, because he's seeing opposition coming and my mother has trouble even knowing what she wants. OMG! So, after looking around, they find a place they like. I got my mother on the phone and asked her what she wanted. "Do you really want to move. Do you really need to move?" This is a big thing because she does not drive and it would be difficult for her to get around. She said, "yes, we are living so tightly and this new place has a club and a pool also." The problem is that now they will have money in the bank and we're afraid he will spend it. So, I got him on the phone and told him that if they wind up doing this, he will not be spending any of that money. They will still have live somewhat conservatively and you are not going to put her in a bad way again. Well, it's at the point where he's consulting us as to what to do. He asked me to go there today with them and go over the money situation and finances, and also to see the place. He says that if I don't like it or if I don't feel it's worth it, he won't do it. He-he! LOL!
Unbelievable. It just feels good to be able to step in and help my mom. Believe me, my father is not the way he used to be . She pretty much runs the show. Although it's sad because she holds a lot of resentment for all the years she didn't speak up. She's been better after this last triple bypass. I think she didn't think she was going to make it and she realized it's not worth it to carry all this resentment. It's very harmful to the mind and body. For me, it's almost like, talk about red flags. I think it makes her a little nervous because we are not backing down. But that's okay.
Anyway, thanks for letting me talk about this.