Dropping restraining order

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2005
Dropping restraining order
3
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 1:35am

Hi,
I haven't visited this site for a while. But now I have a question maybe some of you could help me with.

I use to visit the site for emotionally abuse but couldn't find it.

My question is:
What is the outcome of dropping a restraining order? I mean how many people have done this and went on with their lives. I know it's the judges decision but I'm curious how many people have been throught this and what was the outcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 9:21am

This is hard to answer without knowing why you would want to drop a restraining order, but here goes.

Hun, you got that order for a reason, remember that. All the promises in the world won't take away what happened before and are probably crocodile tears trying to rein you back in.

Second, if you drop a restraining order it will make it tougher to get one again as he can just say well she had one before and let it drop so why give her one now. If something happens in the future you will have this documentation to help you.

Lastly, not to guilt trip you, but when we as women get protective orders and let them drop it makes it harder on the next person who needs one as the police, judge and courts start to get jaded and think you're just like all the rest who will go back anyway so why bother. We as women need to stop this and get attitudes changed to help the person after us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 11:14am

ITA with JB.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 12:05pm
Not a good idea, from all I've read here. If you drop it, what that tells the judge is that you aren't REALLY all that scared of him, and that will make it that much harder to get a new one if you need it/get the police to take it seriously if he does something else/a whole multitude of other things that you really don't want. Besides, as someone pointed out, you got that order for a reason. Overwhelmingly, abusers go back to their bad old ways, and even if it SEEMS like the reason for getting it is gone, it will be back. For your own safety, you don't want to lose that protection when you need it.
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