feeling sad
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feeling sad
| Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:34pm |
Hi, since Sat I have been feeling sad. I have not talked to him since Sat. I have not called him nor has he called me. I don't know why I feel so sad. I mean he was not good for me. He was abusive in every way throughout our relationship but for some reason I still really miss him. I am having a hard time seeing all the wrong he did to me right know. I just keep seeing all the good times. I know deep down inside there where more bad than good but right know I am having a hard time seeing that. It has bee over a month since he has been gone. He has not tried to come back or anything or he did apologize but it was so fake and I thought there was probable a motive for it. I have talked to him here and there. I know I should not because of the RO. But since we have a son I felt obligated to take his calls still. He has not really tried to help out with our son either. When he does call for our son he sometimes he is nice and sweet our times he is down right mean and puts me right back to square one. He know exactly what to say to hurt me. Why do I keep stressing over all this and why I am having such a hard time moving on? He really hurt me by what he said to me this weekend. I am trying so hard not to have any contact anymore. I know everytime I see him or talk to him whether it be a good encounter or bad one I end up either confused or hurt again. I know I need to focus on my son and me and getting us better. When will this hurt and pain go away? I am trying so hard not to think about him but I can not help it. In away I feel that I want him back. Then I start think about it and about all the other times we broke up and got back together. It might be fine for a week or two but he ends up trying to control, manipulate me, verbally abuse me and my son. I know deep down inside I did the right thing but I am having such a hard time because I think I am still emotionally attached to him. Any advise?

When you get sad, do something. Have a bath, go get ice cream, rent a funny movie, go for a walk, call a friend and go for drinks, watch Enough, or Sleeping With The Enemy.
Good Luck,
Sarah
I finally broke free and I KNOW that you can too. I think when there is not a lot of physical abuse it can make it really hard to justify leaving, but you have done the hardest part. Hang in there, pray a WHOLE lot and have faith in yourself. YOU CAN DO THIS! I promise.