Filing for Divorce TOMMORROW!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Filing for Divorce TOMMORROW!!!!!!!!
2
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:31am

I cant BELEIVE I am FINALLY THERE!!!!!!!!! I woudl like to thank HIM for threatening my life 2 weeks ago ... it was the straw that broke this camels back! ;)

Anyone have any suggesstions or what i need to ask atty besides what I have below?

-I have provided him with all the millions of peices of paperwork about our finances & info.

-I wrote out the specifics i would like, for a court ordered supervised visitation plan for him w/ dd

-I need to ask him what the chances are i would have to pay alimony (ERRR!) since he has Hep C & will likely claim he CANT work. When in absolute reality, he CAN. He is just lazy. & he was interviewed for & offered a good, full time, year round /w benefits job this week, but told his brother he "isnt taking it b/c if she (me) wants me to be destitute & live in a shelter, i will". Martyrdom is a lovely thing.

-I went through all our tax returns since 1998 (when we married). I literally made more than double, mostly triple evrey year, that he made. NOT b/c he coudlnt work, but b/c he didtn WANT to work. His average yearly salary ranged from 9K - 14K. He did have one year of 29K, but other than that, he did *hit. I PRAY that i wont have to settle a complete 50/50 with him. Although it IS a 50/50 state ... my atty said there shoudl be some leeway based on "His conduct in the marriage (w/ LOTS of evidence) & his financaial contribution". At this point the equity in our home is about 200+K. I want to stay here but obviously there is NO way i can pay him out over 100K. I want to know what my options are. Obviously HE cant afford to live here & pay the mortgage, but he is saying he will "force me to sell the house". I want to keep the house for me & 5 yr old dd, i will NOT uproot her if i dont have to.

-I will keep the RO on me for as long as i need. I *KNOW* if i drop it he will be harrassing me & begging ...

-I changed all my life insurance policies yesteday, for my beneficiary to be my brother. (I was told that once i file, nothing like that can be changed. So now its done.) Not STBX, OR dd, since if i die, he would waste all the moeny for dd. I will set up a trust for that money, so my brother can dole out what she needs, IF God forbid, something happened to me.

-I was able to change some of my pension plan. The RI law is you MUST give no less than 50% to your spouse in the case of your death ... he WAS in for 100%. So i gave my brother the other 50%, jic. & once we are legally not married, then i will be able to change it all to brother.

Anything esle you guys suggesst i find out? This isnt my 1st meeting w/ him, but its the 1st since i actually really decided to file.

TIA! R~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 2:42pm

It looks like you have most of the high points covered so far.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:48pm
Thanks so much! Custody/visitation is freaking me OUT! I will let you know what he says, R~

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