Final - enough is enough

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Final - enough is enough
2
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:53am

I have been posting on toxic relationships. I finally left husband after 6 months of marriage. It goes on and on and hard to explain everything all over again on this board, but will probably do so in a few. Here at work so - will come back.

I did go to court magistrate this morning. Back in January I had Hospital ER Report for assault. I never pressed charges. Things kept getting worse and worse. I've left and came back so many times. I finally permanently left three weeks ago. I kept receiving hate emails, psychological game emails and done with him bringing out the worst in me.

From something that happened in January, he said he would change. Hitting still occurred. Emotional abuse still occurred. I've pretty much highlighted all the signs of what an abuser is and what i've gone through.

They are issuing him a warrant today. I've never gone to that lengths, but I'm fed up. If I didn't receive all his hate emails yesterday, that would be a different story. It kept going and going. At 8 am he would say come back, I'm sorry. I never replied as i knew by 5:00 the hate messages would come, and sure enough they rolled in.

He's back on drugs and who knows what'll happen. I know he has a good side, but then that paranoid illusion that I am seeing someone, admitting he's a jealous type etc... no more.

It's hard to deal with as at times I feel like I failed. I'm 37 and he's 25. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. From signs mentioned, therapy wouldnt help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 7:30am
antiemm...he is the one who failed here. And he will continue to fail because his beliefs, values, and choices will guarantee it. You're failure was only in choosing a guy who isn't capable of true love, and even that, is his failure because he wasn't honest about who he is and what his intentions are for his partner in the beginning and so you moved forward with him on false information. In the end, you succeeded because you have loved yourself enough to not allow him to continue his destruction of you. He is a miserable failure...and always will be. You are not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 7:53am

You did make sense. However, I guess at this stage with me pressing assault charges - not certain what happens from there. They said will issue warrant and protective order. I guess I have to go to court eventually?

I think right now I feel guilty about the assault charges that they will issue today. I shouldn't be that way. It had to be proven to the magristrate this morning, so I guess it's enough, but it's the feeling of me never having done anything to this extent that makes me feel anger plus much anxiety, frustration, & another word of feeling bad.