Final straw??
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Final straw??
| Thu, 05-26-2005 - 12:03pm |
I was just wondering...For those of you who have left your abusers, what was the final straw? I keep telling myself that one day i will wake up and know that today is the day to leave, or something will happen and I will just say i cant take it anymore and leave. So that just got me wondering what where some of the things that happened or was done that made you sit up and say, NOW is the time. NOW is the time for me to leave and get on with MY life.

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Jody,
Remember, mine are much older than yours, so you will have to be patient. One thing I did was not justify who I am through him. I quit defending myself and set rules how they would treat me if they wanted to be part of my life. It was rough. My daughter removed all her things from the house and called me about every name in the book. Girls are a challenge to raise in a complete family unit, let alone with this divorce.
They will come around, but it will be awhile. Wait till puberty sets in....me thinks old dad is really going to show his colors there. Remember, they will always love their father, no matter what. In that same token, they will always love you, but are their rock, their sounding board, etc. They will appreciate you someday, trust me.
My boyfriend had way too many female "friends." He would chat with them on Messenger, then save the transcripts in his documents, even giving them names like "tawni-and-me," etc. They would reminisce about good times (I'm talking sexual) they had had. The first time I found them, I hit the roof and he promised to stop, even though he insisted they were only friends and this sort of thing was harmless. Well, he was lying. Plus, he tried to make me feel bad for wanting him to stop this. I asked him how he would feel if it were me chatting with a bunch of men, and he said he would not care. (I guess that should have told me something right there.)
One time about 8 months ago, I discovered that he'd gone out of his way to look up a woman he had known in the military. When they reconnected, she sent him pictures and he called her "delicious," asked why she had not found Mr. Right, and told her he wished it had been him.
The final straw was about a month ago now. This time, he left the evidence glaring, right there in our e-mail account. He corresponded with another woman. She told him all her personal and sexual problems with her husband and he told her intimate details of our sex life together. He also told her he wished I would lose weight. He said things like "You're so great, you've been through so much, I love you, we could have been soulmates." And he promised her he was going to make a special folder to keep their e-mails in so that I wouldn't see them.
Of course, now he wants me to feel bad about making him stop this. He insists it means nothing and that she was crying on his shoulder, what was he supposed to do? I told him that he was supposed to tell her to find a good therapist and wish her well. Actually, then I decided to leave, so now he can chat with her all he wants to. I don't even care anymore. That was my last straw.
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