finally did it

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
finally did it
3
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 6:19am
I have not posted here in quite a while. I have been dealing with a man in my life who has been verbally and psychical abusing me for 7 years. Last night I finally had it. We have been arguing and fighting for over two weeks abut him cheating and about him having women calling his phone late at night. I had confronted him about this and he flipped out telling me it is all my fault for digging and I did it to myself. He ended up locking me in my bathroom, kicking a huge hole in the door (upstairs) and a whole in my steel door(downstairs.) He also threatened me. He ended up leaving and I called the police. I pushed 4 charges on him and put a restraining order on him. He then had the nerve to show up at my house the next day while I was at work. I knew this because he answered my phone. I called the police and had him arrested. He is now in jail for right know. He has been calling my neighbor asking for help. She says he is telling her he did nothing wrong and that this is all my sisters fault. How come he does not take resbonsiblity for his action. He harmed me and threatened me. Why does he not see anything wrong with this. We have a 5yr old together too. Right know I feel bad for him having to be in there and for some strange reason I want to help him. Why? I have to keep reminding myself that he did this to himself and I did not. I am having a hard time seeing that I did not cause this. I really feel like crap. This is going to be a very hard time for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
In reply to: crk21
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 6:49am
Crk,

Sounds like you had a very rough night. My heart goes out to you. You don't deserve to be treated like that and your 5 year old shouldn't be sujected to that behavior either. You did a smart thing putting him in jail. Don't worry about him, they feed them in jail so he won't starve.

Take time this morning and read some info on the home page to help validate yourself and keep yourself focused. Take a look at the holes in the doors. What if your little one had been standing on the other side of one of them? Don't try to figure out why he won't take responsibility for himself, just accept the fact that he won't. They never do. Abusers cannot accept any type of responsibility. They will blame anyone else rather than look into themselves.

Don't feel bad. Do you really want someone around who cheats on you, abuses you, blames your sister for his shortcomings? You don't deserve that type of treatment.

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
In reply to: crk21
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 7:54am
thanks. I will try to look around this morning. My problem is that I miss him and I love him still even after everything he did to me. It makes me so mad that he does not care or see anything wrong that he did. He cheated and lied not to mention lived off me for the majority of the 7 years. After everything I did he still treated me like crap. I now know that he did this because I let him. I am going to try an stay strong and stay away from him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: crk21
Wed, 04-07-2004 - 10:33am

Cam is right, you did the right thing.