First Visit to the DMIC
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| Thu, 05-05-2005 - 8:34pm |
I met with the therapist who runs the Domestic Violence Intervention Center. It is a program sponsored by SPARC which is the city's protective services for those who are abused. He works with the men; although, he is an advocate for the woman. Men and woman meet in seperate groups but are exposed to the same information.
He was very knowledgeable and seemed to know what I was going to say before I even thought it. He asked a very haunting question. "How come you were able to tolerate all the past physical, verbal and emotional abuse and fell apart over the affair?" Answer: I do not know why the affair seemed so much worse to me than the other stuff. Maybe I will learn the answer.
One of the other things I learned was never ask him "why?" If I am asking why, I already know that there is something wrong with the situation. I just simply state, "This is unacceptable, please do not do it again". The end. It is not open for conversation. If the yelling starts...I need to take a walk.
All this in just one short visit.
I see him again in IC one more time, hopefully next week. Then I will be placed in the appropriate group.
It will be interesting to see if my husband follows-through on this.
Your input is very welcome. I need help with getting through this.

I think its great you went to your first session.
Well it sounds like you've got a good therapist.
I wouldn't concern yourself with your husband, to be honest. Abusers suck more than enough energy out of us and rarely change. Use your energy on yourself, your healing and your safety.