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| Thu, 09-30-2004 - 8:00pm |
Today was the final hearing on the PFA/contempt. It was supposed to be the 23rd but my legal representation was on vacation. My lawyer offered up the contempt being dropped if STBX went for the PFA. I agreed to 9 months for the PFA and every Sunday visitation for him with the kids (he will pick up and drop off). He will provide all transportation (he has our car). I was first offered 12 months on the PFA and every other weekend visitation for STBX. But I don't think he has anywhere for my kiddos to sleep. And I don't like that. So I sacrificed three of my months for a change in visitation.
I consider *today* my day of freedom. It doesn't matter how long ago he moved out, it doesn't matter that I had the temporary order. Today matters. And I'm glad that everything is going better for me and the kiddos.
He claims (note the word claims) he filed for divorce and he'll sign the papers tomorrow and I'll be served. My lawyer said to bring those by when I get them and he'll work on the case. He also said if I get sued for custody that he'll take that case, too. This lawyer is free through the state.
I did file for child support/spousal support on September 9. I haven't received any paperwork back on that yet. I reported STBX as out of the house/seperated as of September 6, 2004. I could have been mean. I was trying to be nice. We have three kids and we have been married for 8 years.
He was up to his old tricks today. I'm glad I can recognize them now. I am working on healing and becoming whole. I'm glad to be free. I'm glad that I have a chance for a new life. Right now I'm concentrating on keeping the house cleaner and getting a full-time job, along with the normal parenting duties and what not. I'm sure romance will come again in the future and I'll be more knowledgable about what kinds of men there are out there.
I want to support others here and let them know that they are worthy of a better life and they are worthy of someone who treats them as close to wonderful as can be. I want to check back in as often as I can to offer support. I'm not sharing too much of my story until the divorce is final (STBX has internet access and knows I like iVillage). I hope that is before Christmas - a girl can dream. :o)
Thank-you for reading. :)
~Me

Congratulations on getting the PFA. I remember when I finally went to court and got exclusive rights to keep him off the property how good that felt.
This is just the beginning of your journey. Stay strong and be careful. These guys think court orders are suggestions and not very good ones at that.
The good thing is he is out and you can now start taking control of your life. It will be hard especially having to deal with the emotions of the children. You will have to deal with issues everytime you get them back from him. Be prepared and don't take anything personal.
Continue to concentrate on yourself and how you want your life to be. It's all there for the taking.
Hugs,
Terry
I am thrilled that you are free. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Hugs!
Christine