Gee, thanks, FIL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Gee, thanks, FIL
5
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 8:20pm

As I've mentioned on and off, my SIL was in a verbally abusive situation for many, many years. Finally, this past summer, she and Al the Evil (her loser) split. Well, what should I find out over the weekend but that FIL has been inviting Al over! I also discovered that he told SIL (his own daughter, if you're keeping track) that he was going to stay friends with Al, because, "What he did wasn't that bad and she probably deserved it anyways."

I was LIVID. I fired FIL off an e-mail telling him that I couldn't tell him what to do in his own home, but I hoped he realized that he was harboring his daughter's abuser. Here I listed some examples of things Al has done, and noted that abuse doesn't have to be physical for it to be abuse. I said that again, it was his house and I couldn't much tell him what to do with it, but if it was OK with him to have the guy who had done this stuff to his daughter and granddaughter in his home, then I supposed that that was between him and God.

No response yet, though I guess he was cool to DH when DH was over there the other day. If I find out it has happened again, I am going over there and raise Hades. (SIL tries. He doesn't listen to her, because she's just his daughter. :P) They listen to me, because I do not back down.

HOW do people get it in their heads that this stuff is OK to do, to their own flesh and blood no less??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 8:34pm

Well, he earns the Loose Bra Award for

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 12:46pm
it's soooo frustrating when family members especially your own side with the other person. My own mother told me i dont know when to keep quiet, when he's in a mood to just go away or stay out of his sight. I'm glad your sil at least has someone to stand up with her!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:02pm

Okay, even my boyfriend was mad about this.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 1:25pm

I remember a conversation I had with my own dad shortly after dumping Leon-the-Loony. He asked, "Did he ever hit you?" "No," I said, which was true. (Though I've always thought that was more due to not having thought of it, but that's another story.) "Good," Dad said. That was all he said, but I- uh, got the distinct impression that it was just as well for LTL's continued health that the answer had been No, shall we say.

The sad thing is, I don't even know how much this is about any great love for Al, and how much of it is about sticking it to SIL. She was a handful as a teen, and DH thinks (and I tend to agree) that FIL honestly still resents her for that. Um, that was fifteen years ago, you think it might be time to let it go? :P

I did get some nice, pointed T-shirts to wear to the ILs, though.

http://www.cafepress.com/amnot.26792931

http://www.cafepress.com/dragonpack.20797299

CafePress was able to provide some lovely holiday wear for me. >:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:47pm

Excellent!


CL-Blueliner4