Get order of protection?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Get order of protection?
4
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 2:17pm
Hi all-
I'm new to this board. Have tried other boards and my situation keeps getting worse.In the last week since I broke up with my BF of 7 yrs I have filed 4 complaints. He has damaged a car, broke my house window, harassed my mom by phone, and shown up when I was out with friends and called me awful names and started fights with other people. One of the police officers called him, and my BF told him that my BF was going to put a restraining order on ME because he was beat up and etc.... He was beat up the night I broke it off with him but I have no idea who did it. He doesn't either because he doesn't know where he was for 6 hours and woke up home in bed with a concussion. (That was the night my car was damaged) Three different poice officers said to file an order of protection. My BF never hit me or threatened me physically ever. He has always been very mean calling me names and saying "no wonder your ex left you" whenever we get in a big fight. When he is sober he is nice. He told my mom I was a sex addict and was messing around with many guys, (Not true) I didn't leave him for anyone else and I'm not involved with anyone else. (Although he's thinks I am) I feel so bad that people who had loved each other have to be in this kind of a situation. I can't believe that I still feel anything for him after all we've been through. I still remember the good times.
Should I go ahead with the order? Will it just make him want to get revenge more in other ways?? Maybe the call from the police officer will scare him into leaving me alone without it. I hate that he tells people all these rotten things about me. What do I do and how do I get through all this??? I can't do anything at all and I hurt so bad!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 6:42am

Strong, if 3 different police officers had advised

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 10:37am

Yes! Get the restraining order. Run, do not walk, to the courthouse. If three different police officers said this, there is something very wrong here.

See, what restraining orders do is provide you with legal recourse. It may not stop the behavior, I won't lie to you, but what it DOES do is put the legal system on notice that there is a problem, and it gives the cops more ability to arrest him than they otherwise would have had. If he is harassing your family in addition to you, he needs legal intervention, ASAP. You want the order.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Tue, 03-21-2006 - 9:52pm
I haven't heard from him since he left a message on Sat. night telling me I need to get some help. I haven't been able to go for the order. I keep thinking that I'm overreacting because he never touched me. I feel guilty about the way I handled the break-up. I should have talked to him calmly another time. I remmember all the good times. 7 years is a long time--- it's like doing this to family. Why do I feel this way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Wed, 03-22-2006 - 4:57am

Strong, (and I love your name, btw) you feel guilty because he wants you to.