Getting Nasty About My Son Again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Getting Nasty About My Son Again
Fri, 04-02-2004 - 10:28am
He's getting nasty about my 17 1/2 y.o. ds again. He gets mad every time I give the kid money. He is working a PT job now, but he had gotten fired from his other PT job and immediately found a new one but it was 2 weeks before he got his first pay check. I'm getting ready to send ds to college - I've been lucky enough to get him a workship on the university farm (where me and his dad met 25 years ago) which will pay him minimum wage for 40 hours during the summer, and for 20 hours a week during the school year. DS has gotten used to having $10 a day for gas and to eat on, and he usually works every day from 5 till 10 - if he runs short I fill in with him for the $10 a day. DS has gotten better about not blowing his money since I've been helping him manage it. I work a full time job and make money. If I need to help my ds out I think I should be able to do it. My dh is right to get mad at my ex for not contributing much at all to his upkeep - but he's so close to 18 it's not worth the effort to take him back to court for child support - which he probably wouldn't do anyway - he'd try to make him go to his house where ds is miserable. I've got 8 more weeks and ds will graduate high school and go on to the university farm. I plan to help him the best I can by buying him groceries, a small refridgerator and a small TV to take with him. DH is weird he probably won't fuss that much over buying all this, he just gets mad when I give him cash. I'm sorry I'm to the point where I'm going to tell him to divorce me if he doesn't like it - I've told him once and I'll tell him again I won't turn my back on my kids. I should not have to tell him every time I give ds money - but he threw a hissy fit a few weeks back that I was "doing it behind him back". What a jerk. I've got a darn good reason for giving ds money - I don't want him out on the street selling drugs to get it. His dad caught him with pot once, so I know that option could happen. He gets good grades and, for the most part, is not that much trouble. Alot of people have heard me complain of how he treats ds and they say dh sounds jealous. I feel so stupid for staying with him sometimes. The good times can be good - but we are definitely in the abusive cycle. We have a 2 1/2 y.o. dd together who is absolutely nuts about both of us. I think if I had of known how my divorcing ds's dad would affect ds, I might have stuck it out longer. But he had cheated on me for 3 years with a 20 y.o. girl, and I won't stand that from anybody. Sigh, just venting sorry this is so long. Please don't tell me how stupid I am for staying with him - I have my reasons and I have a graduate degree and then some - so intellectually I'm not dumb.