A GREAT article on victims of abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
A GREAT article on victims of abuse
6
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 12:14pm
Very insightful and helpful for me, as a friend of a vicimt, to understand things.


http://www.mental-health-matters.com/articles/article.php?artID=469

Have a great day :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 7:42pm

I can not thank you enough for posting this link! I'm currently responding to a gal on the 'Problem solving for couples' board that is clearly in an abusive realtionship. I've been trying to get her to come and post over here. I came to see if she did and I saw this post. She's receiveing responses from uneducated and intolerant individuals over there. The point I keep trying to make over there is that people who haven't been there just don't get it. I'm going to copy and paste this info.

Thanks again and you have no idea how much I could have used a friend like you when I was in the midst of it all. Carry on!

Keep looking up^, Susan.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 12:32am
Thank you very much for sharing this article with the group. It really helped me to understand why my male friend acted the way he did when I tried to talk with him about how he was in an unhealthy realtionship with this instable woman. I can really begin to see clearly how the events that have unfolded and his reactions to me, things involving her, and other people all fit together and to see the logic and explanation behind all of it. This article really helped very much and this abusive relationship fits the mold of Stockholm Syndrome almost perfectly. I now know how I can approach him and reach out to him when he is ready to restart our friendship and or least, when he stops leaving obscene and profane messages outside of my door saying that I am ruining his life because of me being vocal about my concerns for him. Before reading this, I actually began thinking about using an intermediary grapevine in the form of his rugby teammates, the only people this woman allows him at least contact with during practices. This really answered the many questions I had inside and I want to thank you again for sharing: this is an excellent resource for friends that want to know more about why the victim looks like they are supporting their abuser and/or pushing away the people that want to help them out of the realtionship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 4:34am

You are so welcome ladies, and thank you so much for the kind words, it made my eyes all teary.

Susan, congratulations on getting out, and maple - hang in there, I'll be in hanging in there too :)

I think it's an excellent article. It really explained to me the confusing reaction he is giving me. So my mind is somewhat set to an ease.

The doctor who wrote it, Joseph Carver, has a website. I personally want to hug this man!

http://www.drjoecarver.com -- look into the Article section, at the top of the list is an article "identifying Losers in relationships". It's pretty good too.

Hugs

:)

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 12:59pm
Wow these are both great articles. I want to cry because I am so happy about reading this. I am going to share this with my friends and family! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:20pm


Don't thank me, thank Dr. Joe! Eat my shorts Dr. Phil!

;)

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:45pm
DITTO! YEAH HOO TO DR JOE