guilt
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guilt
| Wed, 06-28-2006 - 1:25pm |
I told him today that I think we should divorce, that I just couldn’t get back into us after our last blow-up, that we have tried over the years and we just continue in our circle (he is the way he is because of the way I treat him, I am not attentive to him because of how he treats me). So he said I make it sound like it has always be bad. I said no, there has been a lot of good but the bad is bad. Then of course it’s I haven’t thought this through: think about what it is going to do to his Mom, the kids. He calms I haven’t tried in the past whereas he has. I said no it takes two to make it work or break it. And this past month no I haven’t tried because I just don’t feel what I use to for him. And that I have thought about it, that’s why it has taken so long to make up my mind. So now here comes the guilt. I know I am not imagining this, and he is the one who pushed and slapped me in front of the kids, he is the one who uses foul language and yells. But yet I still do have that hint of guilt ---- am I doing right by my children.

Your children don't deserve to see their mom hit. I grew up watching my dad beat up my mom. It was horrible and sometimes I hate her for not leaving. My H has never hit me in front of the kids but he has pulled me from my daughter's bed by my hair.
I have guilt also, which is why I stay. I dont know why but I do. I know I'd be happier alone, without him but I know he wouldn't. Why I worry more about him than myself, is what I am trying to figure out.