guilt

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
guilt
2
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 1:25pm
I told him today that I think we should divorce, that I just couldn’t get back into us after our last blow-up, that we have tried over the years and we just continue in our circle (he is the way he is because of the way I treat him, I am not attentive to him because of how he treats me). So he said I make it sound like it has always be bad. I said no, there has been a lot of good but the bad is bad. Then of course it’s I haven’t thought this through: think about what it is going to do to his Mom, the kids. He calms I haven’t tried in the past whereas he has. I said no it takes two to make it work or break it. And this past month no I haven’t tried because I just don’t feel what I use to for him. And that I have thought about it, that’s why it has taken so long to make up my mind. So now here comes the guilt. I know I am not imagining this, and he is the one who pushed and slapped me in front of the kids, he is the one who uses foul language and yells. But yet I still do have that hint of guilt ---- am I doing right by my children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
In reply to: ckfriend
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 2:33pm

Your children don't deserve to see their mom hit. I grew up watching my dad beat up my mom. It was horrible and sometimes I hate her for not leaving. My H has never hit me in front of the kids but he has pulled me from my daughter's bed by my hair.

I have guilt also, which is why I stay. I dont know why but I do. I know I'd be happier alone, without him but I know he wouldn't. Why I worry more about him than myself, is what I am trying to figure out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: ckfriend
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:27am
You're absolutely doing the right thing. By leaving, you are teaching your children that no one has to tolerate abuse, which is one of the most valuable lessons you can give them.
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