H and his 20 yo friends
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| Wed, 06-02-2004 - 10:20pm |
Posted this on relationship saver board but would like all of your perspective. And, to be honest, I'm scurrying back to safer territory. Some of the folks on the other board are downright hostile when abuse is mentioned. Was looking for a broad perspective, but being called "backwards" isn't my idea of constructive advice. Ouch!
Anyway, here it is. Wondering what you guys think is up with this:
"Wondering if someone can help me with a little perspective here and tell me whether I am overreacting to this. H and I have been together 9 years, married 8. 3 kids. Lately, he has been spending a great deal of time on the weekends hanging out with the 20 year old guy he works with and his equally young girlfriend. Likes to smoke weed with them, I suspect. At their apartment until the wee hours of the morning. (He works nights so I suppose the time of day stuff is bound to be weird.) Doesn't invite them over to our house. Anyway, I just find it very odd that a 33-year-old married father of three would want to hang out with what I feel are a bunch of teenagers.
Suppose I should note that our marriage isn't, and hasn't been, rosy. H has been abusive, physically and emotionally, off and on throughout most of our relationship.
So is this is weird and I think it is. Or am I just overreacting."

I don't think "weird" is the right word.
CL-Blueliner4
And to answer your question....no, it's not weird. My STBX was and still is (I'm sure) constantly hanging around with kids 1/2 his age (he's 40). A couple years ago, he would sneak out late at night and hang with his "yo' boys" HA HA, that's what I called them. These boys were like anywhere from 15 to 20 yrs old. I guess he felt like the big man on campus, providing beer and all kinds of other stuff to them. Then when we moved a year ago, he always hung out with the kids downstairs (again, like 20 or 21 yrs old). Only difference there was that the kids really didn't like him and would make fun of him all the time, but he still made it a point to be around them. I don't know if he was trying to regain his youth, or just looking for popularity, or what. He was TOTALLY irresponsible - didn't pay his bills, much less contribute anything to pay the household bills either. I pretty much supported his dumb a$$ for nearly 9 years.
You DO deserve much better! So do we ALL, right?? Hang in there, sweetie - you're definitely not alone on this one!!
LULA-mae