*** Happy 2 Year Anniversary to Me! ***
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| Tue, 07-13-2004 - 3:22pm |
It has been two years since I left my three-year marriage. The ex is gone, though I heard from him recently. He is 1000 miles away and still a basket case. I hope not to hear from him again. He was asking for help and I didn't give it.
I am me again. Well, I could improve myself a lot, but I'm still a version of me, anyhow! I'm doing well at work and I hardly think about the abuse anymore. When I do, sometimes it still bothers me. Sometimes I feel like there is something about me that most people won't understand. Mostly, I feel like I have a great perspective on life and nothing will ever get me down because I've survived a lot already.
I'm looking to move into a new place with a wonderful man I've been dating for almost a year. I plan to go back to school next year and finish my BA, finally! I'm hoping for kids soon.
Good luck to everyone!!

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I've been coming back to read the board for awhile, but it takes me like 6 minutes to post anything, for some reason. I did miss most of the arguement here, but I'll put in my 2 cents anyhow.
I didn't take offense to Spellbreaker's advice at all. The fact is, I'm TERRIFIED of getting married again. It was my idea to live together first. Honestly, my motivation for living with him isn't to make a halfway step between here and marriage - it is to see if sharing my space with him turns into a nightmare! I'm still gun shy about giving up my independence. But, I don't want to invest too many years in a relationship that is not going anywhere. Since I've been head-over-heels in love with the man from almost the beginning, and since we've talked about what the rest of our lives will be like since almost the beginning, I wanted to give living together a shot. I know that it is an acid test, but I suspect that we'll make it.
I appreciate the advice, though, because I think that too often we ignore "the rules" and think that our situation is different. "The rules" are there for a reason. I reject the silly ones -- don't ever call a man or always wear heels or such stuff -- but the major ones -- like, don't put up with a man who hurts you -- are there because hundreds of women suffered to pass on such wisdom.
I also have a new appreciation for honesty these days, so I don't mind hearing anyone's honest opinion. I've told my bf that I'm making the wrong moves if I want to entrap him in marriage, but I can always back-track by faking a pregnancy. I'm kidding, but it is so good to be able to say ANYTHING around a man without worrying about the consequences! I had to search for words that wouldn't piss off my ex...with this man, I just say what is on my mind. Including, "I'm feeling irrational and clingy and I need X from you to help." Relating isn't a power-play anymore, and it is wonderful.
Miz Lizzy, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! You just made my day with your email, but thank you for everything. When I talk about how I got through the aftermath of my marriage, you are always a very important part of the story, as you've been a very important part of my life. Here is a GREAT BIG ***HUG*** for you!! ;)
Sweetdreams and Blueliner, you are great CL's and fantastic friends! I'm thrilled that both of you are doing so well! Blueliner, CONGRATS ON YOUR UPCOMING ANNIVERSARY!! And Silvermoon, I always loved your kindness and advice. And, of course, a big special blue furry hug to Buffphone! Phoenix and irishgrrl, I don't think that I know you (many apologies if I do and I've forgotten - I'm getting old) but thank you for the good wishes, sisters! As you've probably figured out, this place is amazing. Good for you for being a part of it!
Thank you again, and I will try not to be such a stranger!!
Love to all,
Sarah aka Chaotican
Well, you are most welcome, for it is well deserved.
CL-Blueliner4
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