Hard to stay out
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Hard to stay out
| Sun, 03-26-2006 - 9:53pm |
Hi all
I managed to do NC for 9 days. He hasn't even tried to call. I guess the police did scare him. I don't know why, but I expected a call from him apologizing. I guess he thinks I am to blame.
I've been thinking about the whole sexual abuse thing like in the other thread. He told my Mom I was addicted to sex. When I think about it, I remember all the times I just did it with him so he wouldn't be upset, and the requests he made which made me uncomfortable. This is a case of putting his problems on me.
I want to call him and say, "How could you have done all those things to me?" ( the anger and destruction and nasty things he told my Mom) I know that I can't and have used self-control all weekend. Did any of you still feel love for your partner after you broke it off? Its crazy to feel for someone after they treat you bad. I also worry about him blaming me and hating me. This is hard to get over. People keep telling me I should be happy I am out of the relationship. Now I know why I kept going back. It also hurts to stay out! I know I sound like a broken record, sorry.
Strong
I managed to do NC for 9 days. He hasn't even tried to call. I guess the police did scare him. I don't know why, but I expected a call from him apologizing. I guess he thinks I am to blame.
I've been thinking about the whole sexual abuse thing like in the other thread. He told my Mom I was addicted to sex. When I think about it, I remember all the times I just did it with him so he wouldn't be upset, and the requests he made which made me uncomfortable. This is a case of putting his problems on me.
I want to call him and say, "How could you have done all those things to me?" ( the anger and destruction and nasty things he told my Mom) I know that I can't and have used self-control all weekend. Did any of you still feel love for your partner after you broke it off? Its crazy to feel for someone after they treat you bad. I also worry about him blaming me and hating me. This is hard to get over. People keep telling me I should be happy I am out of the relationship. Now I know why I kept going back. It also hurts to stay out! I know I sound like a broken record, sorry.
Strong

The only "love" I felt for my partner after getting out was how much I would love to see him get hit by a bus, but if you read any amount of the posts here you will see that I am in the tiny minority. This is a very common feeling, and part of the reason why we preach No Contact; it's easier to get rid of if you're not still in contact with the abuser.
Here's something to try. Sit down, and make a list of the good things about him, and then make another list of the bad things he has done/about him. I am guessing that the latter list is going to exceed the former. If so, think about what that means.
And keep up on NO CONTACT- you're doing great so far!!!
Strong
Strong, you're definitely living up to your name.