havent posted in a while..

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
havent posted in a while..
9
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 5:04pm

I am not in good shape. Is this symptom of depression? Not able to work, or focus ..just gazing at the computer.

Nothing really changed for me. I am too chicken. I have one week to make a decision one way or other. I am so tired and sick of it all (my therapist says..mentally beaten down)...I feel like sweets..just leave, run away..whatever..but I know that is the last thing I would do as it would be exactly what he wants. I am feeling the lowest though..I am weak. I am spineless.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 5:46pm

Yes that is a symptom of depression....what I recommend, but run it by your therapist just in case, is that you force yourself to walk no less than 5 minutes a day outside now that the weather is turning nice...in crease your omega oils in your diet, and possibly increase vitamin D as well...also try to get yourself involved in activities out of the house that you like doing...examples would be I took cake decorating classes simply because I wanted to learn how to make fancy cakes....I took a tatting class after that because I wanted to learn to tat...find something you want to learn or are interested in and get involved...this will get you in touch with other people who are interested in the same things you are interested in and give you something positive to look forward to...yes at first it will be difficult to get yourself out and involved but once you go a couple of times you will find it something you look forward to

Avatar for queen_brat
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-27-2012 - 8:37pm

I second everything Fastrated said. It is not an easy choice you have to make and you know my thoughts. It is not easy raising children but it is even harder when things go wrong. No matter what you do something is going to upset your DD and no matter what choice you make you are going to be wondering if you made the right choice. It is easy for us to tell you what we think you should do but I will tell you that I am glad I left. It was hard and still is at times but I don't regret leaving just that I didn't leave earlier. For me it was easier because my children wanted me to leave and to stay away. I wish your DD would wake up and realize things that are going to take her years to figure out so that this would be easier on you. But she isn't going to and so it is all on your shoulders and you have to do not only what you feel is best but what you can live with. I will never go back on what I think but I am not you and you have to make this choice.

(((hugs))


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Avatar for cajunharmony
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Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 8:17am

No Winter, sadly, nothing has changed for you, and until you quit setting yourself up for it not to, it NEVER will.

Mama Harmony

Avatar for winter2007
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Registered: 06-17-2006
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 3:41pm

I know what I need to do..but am unable..it is like asking a depressed person to snap out of it..They can't, not without medicines, something has happened to me..maybe it is the classic sign of abuse - self esteem, confidence, self worth is so low that noone can pull you out..it is sort of like "stockholm syndrom"..in a differnet way. I really think I am sunk in so low I dont know how to pull myself out. Very unfortunate. I hate myself.

Avatar for cajunharmony
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Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 4:55pm

Winter, I am very, very aware of what depression can do to a person.

Mama Harmony

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Registered: 01-04-2000
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 5:12pm

actually, Winter, I was able to pull myself out of deep depression without any

Avatar for winter2007
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Registered: 06-17-2006
Wed, 03-28-2012 - 8:04pm

"I had over watch it create new pictures, several times then getting up and going back to bed. I was not eating anything and I could not have cared less if I lived or died. I was numb about everything. "

Thank you for writing that. I can relate. My day has consisted of me getting up, barely changing, barely staring into the computer..barely eating..or just eating cookies/milk or junk. I realize I have to mentally push myself. I will take your advice.

The thing is two weeks back..I was in full flow exercise, but as the month end drew, it has regressed. I am going to take time off from work for couple days...I think.

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Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 03-29-2012 - 11:21am

As you know I was very anxious and depressed last 8 months.

What helped me come out of it was counseling, my meds, (I take clonopin as needed, amitryptline and ambien to sleep.)

I was in a sort of psychosis.

sweets35
Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Wed, 04-11-2012 - 4:43pm

Thanks for the prayer. While I am not a Christian I am open to all faiths and that is an uplifting prose..thank you. I will check out the books. how are you doing.