He called me at work today...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
He called me at work today...
7
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 5:26pm
and informed me not to be expecting a cheque from him. So not only is he booting me out of the home the kids and I have lived in for the last year and a half..but he is now cutting off my child support. He says that his rent from me.

He can be so terribly ...terribly evil. I have an appt for next Friday with a lawyer. I have not told him I've got a lawyer. I had one before but he made me drop it when he said we were going to sit down and work this divorce out ourselves. So I've hired a new lawyer. But I will not be telling him until he hears from his lawyer telling him.

Its really too bad because we got along so well until this. People often asked if we were back together because we were able to do so much together with the kids. Thats all gone now..and its the kids that pay.

I am so angry..so terribly angry it scares me. I'm so scared of everything. How can he just turn around and do all this to me??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 8:34pm
Brooke...one of my good friends inherited property that had been in his family forever.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 10:34pm
I'm not sure why everything has changed so quickly. For one he had a big fight with his roomate and he gave his landlord his notice. He's so screwed up. He tried calling me today. I ignored the call here at home after he bothered me at work I wasn't going to take his calls at home. He left a message on the phone telling me he had an offer and that I better call him. If I didn't call him back..I could be missing out on his offer and he wouldn't ask again. The games he plays are ridiculous. But I play them...I play along with it. I hate what I've become because of him. I don't know how to NOT play his games. I feel he controls everything..which he does...but I feel that control..I know he has it..still..and I can't find a way to let go of that. I hate it but I dont' know how to stop it. I was so convinced that after I left him...he could never control me again. But reality is...his control over me may never end. It could continue until the day I die...even 30 years down the road. I know if I don't allow it..he can't control me..but he's always going to try. What I don't understand is this..NO..he does not want to get back together with me. He has made this very clear..but he has also made it very clear that we need to get this divorce over with NOW. The last few months its been a push push push from him. I wondered at first if he had met someone else and that is why he was pushing me so hard. I even accused him of planning his next wedding and that is why he was wanting the divorce so bad. But maybe what it is is...he doesn't want me having any time to speak with a laywer and discover that I have options. He even went shopping with the kids this weekend for a divorce kit which he bought when they were with him. Is THAT shallow or what??? He figured we can just sit down...I can agree to his plans and arrangements...or NOT agree with them. If I choose not to...then basically I have nothing. His way or no way. PATHETIC!!

I can't believe it..I really can't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-05-2004 - 11:54pm

I think you're right, it's that he wants you to agree to what he wants without you having talked to an attorney.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 1:44am

Brooke, I think sweet's right about him behaving this way to get something out of it.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 11:15am
Unfortunatly he didn't voluntarily move out of the home. Part of the restraining order gave him 24 hours after he was served with it..to get all he needed and get out of the home. Since then..he had never objected to me staying there...even him making the mortgage payments because I can't afford to make them. Our mortgage is combined in a loan with a few other things and there is no way I can make a 900.00 a month payment. That is why he wants me out..he's been making the payments...and I've been living in the home. Does this affect me in a big way??????????
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:33pm

Everyone has given great and wonderful advice here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 04-06-2004 - 12:59pm
Thank you for that..and thank you for everyone who has given advice. Yes..alot of great advice has been given. What are my options though if he quits his job and goes to work for a friend and gets paid "under the table". How can the government go after him if he's not showing any income. He already threatened me yesterday that if I report his stop in child support payments..that he will quit his job. I can't make it financially without his support. He's always been really good about paying it and now this.