he got his attorney

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
he got his attorney
6
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 12:36am
Okay,
The fight's begun!! He got his attorney today....it's also our anniversary (14 yrs). I think he really thinks he can get 50/50 placement of these dear children that I've been caring for primarily forever. (remember, he's an alcoholic, verbally and emotionally abusive). He won't move out until the temporary hearing. What exactly will happen in the hearing. Will he really have a chance to get 50% placement? I don't mind visitation, but 50%? He's done NOTHING with these kids, now he thinks on top of his therapy, alcohol cessation program, and other issues he can take care of these kids like the 'good ol dad.' It all came about when he realized he would have to fork over 1,100 dollars a month in child support! What do judges usually do? I work part-time so I can stay home and take care of my kids now....have for the past 9 years. I don't want to keep them from him, but the man can't even make his own dental appointments!! He forgot our son's 3rd birthday this year (he was also drunk on that day). I have a journal (very objective) of the verbal/emotional abuse he put me through, does this have any bearing on anything (other than to remind me why I'm going through with this). I'm pretty scared right now, but I can't let him see this. My attorney will call me in the morning, but if anyone is up at this time, please respond. Thanks to all for your support.
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 6:40am
I know that every state is different and each judge is different.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 1:15pm

I had an all out custody battle here in Fl, and I can tell you what happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 11:17pm
I can't really offer advice from my experience, because the courts are too different here, but just wanted to comment on how surprised I am to hear about so many guys asking for 50/50 or more after hearing about the child support. Mine did the same thing. Once he heard about the possibility of child support, he asked for full custody. No chance! That is certain for my case. Actually it is pretty certain that I will get 100% custody both legal and physical. But why do these ja's do this to keep from paying child support? I don't get the logic. Do they not realize how much it costs to care for a child? Are they that stupid? Even with 50/50 placement, it is going to cost not so far off from the child support payment to take care of them even at 50/50. That is, unless they are not intending on taking care of them properly. It seems outrageously cruel for them to intend to save money by TAKING the children. I would be horrified to know what they might intend on feeding them every night, what kind of clothes they intend to put on their backs, and what action they would take if the children get ill. And forget about outings. In my case, I already got a taste of what care my son would receive under that AHL. Fortunately I was there to cover the bases though. Sorry to go off on a tangent here, but it was just burning on my mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 9:43pm
Thank you all so much for your comments and thoughts....I just get so darned anxious. He acts so smug all the time. He won't move out because his attorney told him not to do anything until the temporary hearing. Isn't this the time they will decide who lives where? He asked me today "If I'm living in the house, I don't have to pay child support do I?" He thinks we will live status quo until the final hearing....is this possible? Will they (the courts) do this? I really can't stand to live with this man anymore. What exactly do I tell the family court comissioner without looking like I'm "slamming" him? Do I tell them he calls his son a "p-ssy" and "girl" when he cries? I just can't wait until I'm out of this. I know I have to take this 'one day at a time' but it's just so hard! He's playing the 'perfect daddy' now....no alcohol for 9 days. I know this is a "process" and I have to trust it, but sometimes it's so hard, especially when I have to look at him everyday. Thanks for letting me vent!
A
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 12:36am

More often than not, the custodial parent gets the residence, meaning he's most likely going to get the boot.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 9:41am

I wouldnt worry. But make sure you keep documentation of EVREY SINGLE INCIDENT you can think of. I handed my atty, then the GAL, a 7 page typed dated document of every major issue, abusive moment or drunken dangerous episode that there had been.

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