he grabbed me by my hair.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
he grabbed me by my hair.....
2
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 11:18am

well,Monday night DH and I were watching tv,he had seemed irritable all evening so I was walkin "soft",anyway, we were watching one of his fav. shows Elimidate and this cowboy was on it,and the other guys kept takin his hat and pickin on him,dh said he was gay yadayada this cowboy sux,then he asked about a pin a cowboy gave me along time ago,wondered why I still had it,I did NOT date this guy,did NOT kiss him,NOTHING sexual with this guy,he was just a friend,one that looked out for me and was nice to everyone,I said I just never thought about it,the pin was a goodbye gift when I moved away,a guardian angel w/a cowboy hat on it,it meant something,but NOT in a relationship way.....


he said I was lieing to him,said I must have dated the guy because for him to give it to me,he mustve like me /had feelings for me....I said no,and he asked if I did the guy? I said NO,and that I wasnt going to keep defending my past to him,it has no value on who I am now,and I got up and walked off,BAD IDEA as usual,he grabbed me by the back /neck of my shirt,which choked me some,and he continued to ask lame questions about the guy/pin,well he started saying rude things like I think my past is fine and Im ok with what I did back then and Id probably cheat on him now if I felt like it,I again STUPIDLY tried to walk off,when he jumps up and grabs me by the hair!!


well then he stops his questioning and "feels bad" as usual,he leaves me alone for like 15 minutes then he does the Im sorry,didnt mean to,I love you,dont leave me speach.....I just went to bed and laid there crying.


the next day he called from work and did the speach again,last night he was super nice,rubbed my feet for me,without me asking.....kept gettin me water and stuff.....and every now n then asked if I hated him,loved him less,or was leaving him....


I dont know what my problem is? WHY when I have been in a horribly abusive relationship and left it ALL ON MY OWN do I still love this guy and dont want to leave him? what is my problem?I know a man should NEVER touch a female,should NEVER hurt her,NEVER talk to her the way DH does to me....he has told me that one man isnt enough for me,when IVE NEVER given him reason to doubt me or my faithfulness! yet I still want him.


anyways I just wanted to post and see what you gals think.....I guess Im super screwed up huh? thinkin he'll change,KNOWING he wont! and I DO KNOW he wont!

Proud mom of Madalyn,age 7,wifey 2 Don and waitin on baby!!!!


Proud mom of Madalyn,age 7,wifey 2 Don and waitin on baby!!!!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 2:02pm

April, we will never tell you that you are stupid, dumb, screwed up, whacked out, or call you names.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 5:30pm
OH MY GOD! I am so sorry for you. you have a child with this man,and a baby on the way. Did I read the correctly. I hope not! I know that its hard to even think about leaving him but the truth is that he is not going to change it is part if his make up. And im sorry to say but you had to have seen it coming. Your going to stay with him. You know why! because you weak, because you depend on him. And he knows it . He knows all the right things to tell you so that you can just get over it . Of course his going to treat you good after it all . He wants you to say around and deal with his behavior and god only knows how many times he has done this to you and you let it slide. Your the one that is allowing it. So your to blame. Now if you really want it to stop. Im going to give you the best advice . OK i have been though this before. I man that i loved to death give me a black eye, and as soon as that happened I was out the door. Now your is not as bad so I think this can work for you. If you live with him move in with a friend or family for just one week . Dont call him even if it kills you dont call him at all. I know that is going to bw hard but atleast a couple days. Then when you do talk to him tell him you can do it anymore and that you dont love him anymore." that would drive him crazy " at least for a week he will be so scared to lose you that when you get back with him he would straighting up. that one why to go about it . Another think that maybe he has been acting this way is because he is cheating on you and out of guilt he wants to acuse you of cheating because he knows your not dirty like he is. what ever the case may be . You need to wake up. u should not be treated like that and you know it already.