He is hurting me and I need help!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
He is hurting me and I need help!!!!!!!!
6
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 12:59pm
Ok so I am sure everything I say is gonna look like i am so stupid, but I already know I have been a fool so here it goes. Ok well I have been with my man for 2 years and 5 months we have a 9 month old together(which by the way is the love of my life) and his father has done nothin but disrespect me forever. I have put up with to much thinkin he could change. He cheated on my 2 times as far as i know and had another child with another female while i was pregnant with ours and that was hell and I decided to give him another chance...why? I have no idea really because he is muniplitive and i felt sorry for the bastard. But anyways also since 6 months ago he decided to lay his hands on me and hurt me, he kept apologizing and so forth but it got worst because on jan 6th 2004 he hurt me so bad i lost my singing voice and lost the hearing in my right ear and now i am getting surgery on my ear but my voice is unexplainable and i have been refered to a voice study, this is ridiculous, howcome i keep alowing this i used to be a strong female that all my friends use to come to for help and I never would of put up with this abuse ever before so why him!!!!!

Ok now here is my problem just last week he hit me so hard it messed up my back and i have scoliosis with 2 medal rods in my back and now i am in complete pain every day and I can't get him to leave, but he had been shot about a month ago 2 times and is in bad condition ( but obviously not bad enough to refrain from hitting me) and he has no where to go! I have no idea what to do i am so confused and so scared it makes me sick, I am in all this pain and still takeing care of my son and trying to get this guy to get out of my life but then he gives me the whole I AM sorry speech and how much he loves me.......HELP HELP HELP, I have had ENOUGH!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 2:42pm

Hi Diva, and welcome -


Okay, let's put on the brakes for a second.


First, you're right, this is ridiculous.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 3:25pm
Hey there blueliner, I appreciate your advice but there is a little bit more then I wrote. This is my House and i am on housing and my dumb ass let this man stay with me for a while because of his injuries and he needs to leave, I am afraid though that i will lose my housing if I let them know he was here, I know this is wrong and I realize all of this is just stupid on my part but I need to figure out a way to have him leave MY home calmly without the a problem. Plus all the time this has happened and i have went to leave or call some one he has hurt me worse or unplugged the phone or muffled my screams or hid my child from me I am so confused and scared I have no idea what to do. This is just pathetic and I love my baby and I have sheltered him from this for so long I know one of these days he will see it and I need all this negative energy out of this home.

What do you suggest to this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 3:31pm

Well, technically if you are the only one on the lease or whatever, you can legally ask him to vacate.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 6:50pm
I am still feeling so confused on what to do because everytime I try to get near a phone or anything he freaks out and he is so scared of goin to jail that if i cry or scream or anything he muffles my yells and unpluggs the phones. I am so scared and I am afraid that if he leaves with the police he will come back to hurt me or something, what the hell is wrong with this man? He is using me and does not understand i do not want to be with him, he can't just leave.....I am so scared if he doesn't leave that this surgery i am getting on my ear next week will be pointless because he could screw up my ear again, or do something worse he has lost his mind!!!

He is not suppose to be here at all and I am on really strict houseing i am just so scared they will kick me off housing if he makes a scene or something and that me and my baby will be on the streets. I am living in a house of HELL and the devil won't leave!

please i need more suggestions i need someone i am in so much pain with my back and mentally, this is just bullcrap that i ended up in this place, I feel for all those abused women out there, STAY STRONG!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 7:47pm

1) Do you have a cellphone?

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 1:49am

Welcome to the board, mamadiva.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you