Heartbroken After TBI
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|Tue, 03-15-2011 - 4:49pm|
My husband sustained a traumatic brain injury (TBI) over two years ago. We live in MI. He has come so far and is further along than anyone could have imagined. Unfortunately, his TBI has made him emotionally abusive and I truely believe we were headed toward becoming a murder-suicide case. I endured it for months and never called the police when things got terrible because his therapist convinced me he would never hurt me and that calling the police would only make things worse. I would simply run and hide until he would calm down. I finally had to move out when he threatened to kill my dog and then me. My heart is breaking, but I am frightened of him. My dog even showed signs of PTSD, but has improved. My husband's therapist said I'm over reacting and need a thicker skin. My own therapist has helped me see things clearer, that the best gift I could give my husband was to let him go.
My own recovery has come much further since I no longer live in constant fear. I was in the same accident and sustained a TBI, but not nearly as severe. He doesn't understand why I'm different and it frustrates him. His brain injury prevents him from dealing with it. We have both been on disability since the accident, but I hope to return to full time work soon. He will not be able to because of short-term memory loss, which prevents him from remembering ever raging against me. He wants me to stay with him and I love him so much, but I have decided after being separated since last October that it's time to leave him. Now I'm reading that because he won't be able to return to full-time employment and became disabled while we were married, I will need to pay alimony. I will be interviewing two attorneys this week to learn more.
I realize now I should have called the police, or recorded one of his many rages, but at the time, I wasn't thnking of building a case against him. I guess as a warning to others, make sure to report the abuse. I now might need to pay for keeping my mouth shut and taking the abuse.