Heartbroken Again :(
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| Sat, 11-13-2004 - 3:49pm |
The condensed version of my story is below, sorry if I am rambling:
I've been married a little under a year (anniversary is Nov. 26) and me and my husband have had a pretty decent relationship. Unfortunately, he has an anger problem and can be very verbally and emotionally abusive. He got much worse after we married. In July he came home one day and decided he wanted me out of "our" house - NOW. He didn't want to be married to me (we had had an argument - nothing serious - I thought) and he came home and said if I didn't get out, he'd call the police on me, which he did. I did NOTHING to deserve this AT ALL. No screaming, yelling. I was upstairs by myself when he did this. As a matter of fact,the cops made HIM leave. Anyways, he never did put the house in my name too, as promised.
Well, about three weeks ago he started getting really nasty and angry with me all the time over very small things. Then he moved his paycheck to his own checking account because I messed up a few bills on our checking account. I did apologize for messing up the bills. When i tried to sit down and talk to him about why he moved his money away to another account, he got enraged and started yelling at me and said that's just the way it was I'd have to live with it and if I didn't like it "Fu** off Bit**!" His words exactly. I told him I didn't appreciate being called names like that, especially by my husband. He yelled more, then he yelled more and more and said horrible things to me. Then he moved down to the basement and has been there for about a week. The only time he would speak to me is to Instant Message me during the day. I thought to myself after a week of this that the punishment I was receiving was much worse than the crime of wanting to discuss the finaces. I was astonished that this happened because of such a small offence. Tonight, I walked downstairs and tried to speak to him very nicely, calmly, non-confrontational, and he started screaming saying all this stuff that didn't make sense to me (I didn't trust him, etc. - don't know why??). Then he said "Being married to you sometimes makes me want to put a bullet to my head." I was stunned. All of THIS because I disagreed that he took his paycheck and moved it to his own account?? Then more screaming and "Leave me alone! Get out!" stuff like that. I am completely perplexed and this isn't the first time he's had an outburst over the tiniest of things that I have done.
I am sad and heartbroken to the core. I feel my life has just gone down the tiolet. Even though this man was so verbally abusive to me, I still love him and feel lost and lonely. Unfortunately, I'm still in the house because I haven't saved money yet to move. But I'm researching apartments at the present time. This is so hard and I just cannot figure out why this has happened. I don't think there's anyone else? I'm a good hearted person that doesn't get mad and I'm pretty laid back and help other people all the time. I just don't know. Any insight would be helpful, these boards are great, and thank you so much for listening.
catlover66

My own marriage is a tough one, so I'm right in there. Of course I DO get to find out what I did wrong because my husband goes over to my sister's house, and spills his guts. Of course he turns it all around so that it looks like it's all my fault, but that's the way it is.
It's HIS problem, and though it may hurt you to go, maybe the best way is just to leave now, and begin anew somewhere else. Doesn't sound like he'll change.....
Be strong, and know that you did all you could....it is NOT YOU, it is HIM.
Good Luck,
Aphrodite