Hello...question about TRO
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Hello...question about TRO
| Fri, 08-11-2006 - 5:52pm |
Hello everyone! I posted for a bit several years ago, but have been gone for a while. I have actually never had a restraining order taken out before, but I filed the papers today and have to be in court Monday morning. I am very nervous, mainly because my ex lives in another state and I am worried I won't be taken seriously that he is a threat. I get threatening emails and phone calls rather frequently, though. My biggest issue is that it isn't necessarily restricted to me. He has delivered threats to me via the children's email accounts, etc. He also addresses all issues with the kids, incl. visitation, child support, etc. He claims I refuse to allow him to see them (actually told them this while he had them for the entire summer) and that he can't afford anything nice because he has to pay all that money (child support) to me so that I can live in the lap of luxery, which amuses me because I am a single parent with two kids, work part time and am working on my master's degree. FAR from the lap of luxery, LOL. Honestly, I have just had more than enough of this and am tired of ignoring it, it isn't going away and the kids are really suffering.
Is there anything in particular I should know for when I go into court or that I should take? I will obviously take copies of all the emails. I have tapes of the kids conversations with him, and I am considering making transcripts to take, but don't know if I should or not. Kind of a sticky area, in my state phone conversations can legally be recorded with only one party consenting, but there has been legal disagreement over whether or not a parent can consent on behalf of a child as they are acting in their best interest. FYI...I didn't start recording the conversations until I realized how bad they were getting. Literally over an hour and a half of talk with one child in which dad NEVER asks what DS is up to, about friends, school, anything. All about poor dad and evil mom, I know you will stand with me against your mom because that is how to show me you love me, etc. Why aren't you willing to be on my side, I thought you loved me but I guess not, etc.
Also, how do I go about serving someone who lives in another state? Do I contact the sheriff of his county and mail the papers?
Thanks for any help:)
Is there anything in particular I should know for when I go into court or that I should take? I will obviously take copies of all the emails. I have tapes of the kids conversations with him, and I am considering making transcripts to take, but don't know if I should or not. Kind of a sticky area, in my state phone conversations can legally be recorded with only one party consenting, but there has been legal disagreement over whether or not a parent can consent on behalf of a child as they are acting in their best interest. FYI...I didn't start recording the conversations until I realized how bad they were getting. Literally over an hour and a half of talk with one child in which dad NEVER asks what DS is up to, about friends, school, anything. All about poor dad and evil mom, I know you will stand with me against your mom because that is how to show me you love me, etc. Why aren't you willing to be on my side, I thought you loved me but I guess not, etc.
Also, how do I go about serving someone who lives in another state? Do I contact the sheriff of his county and mail the papers?
Thanks for any help:)

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Well, by now you should have learned if you got your order or not. I'm willing to bet you did based on your evidence. :)
As far as the recording of conversations, it depends on your state but according to federal government it is ok record as long as one party of the conversation knows they are being recorded (usually you). Some states have made it more restrictive where all parties to the conversation must know they are being recorded. I don't know if it is legal for you to record your kid's conversations with their father, but if they knew they were being recorded it could be ok. May also depend on the age of your kids because if they don't understand about recording, they may not know they are being recorded. I haven't heard anything about the law saying an age restriction to the recording. Messages left on an answering machine are always legal because the person leaving the message knows they are being recorded and should not be stupid enough to leave a message they don't want saved.
It's kind of funny I read this because I was just looking it up today. I know about recording phone conversations, but was wondering about recordings set up in a home. Apparently stbx has set up recording equipment in the marital home where he is living probably to find out if I go in. Is it legal record conversations in a private residence where they are not a party to the conversation? I didn't find an answer. Any one know?
All went well in court yesterday, and I got the temp order and have a PRO hearing in two weeks. The problems came in getting him served. His county won't accept faxes, so I had to send it overnight mail. I just tracked it and it still says in transit, but it was guaranteed by 3 pm, which is in 15 minutes!! I really hope it gets there...
Anyway, as for recording, the state I live in only one party has to consent to have the call recorded. So I can record all my calls without issue. The problem comes in with the kids. I don't really want them to know, because they will immediately tell him, the only time they really get any affection out of him is when they give him something to use against me, so I must say I understand why they do it:) But anyway, since they are minors, in many cases a parent can consent on behalf of the child, and not tell the child. So I am hoping that is true in this case as well :)
In the meantime, he received the modification of custody papers yesterday but no TRO, so now he is really, really mad and still legally can contact the kids which has been a mess. I figured I am within my legal right to not allow it, just cant make him stop trying. My oldest son is at his grandparents and his dad has called multiple times there trying to reach DS, and my parents won't let him obviously. Ugh...I REALLY hope they get him served today! He is such a bonehead I am sure he will at a minimum call me to "express his anger" and then I will promptly call the police:)
What bothers me is that he has NOT tried contacting our younger DS since he got home three weeks ago. dS has called him a few times, but it is our older DS that Ex wants to live with him, he is only asking for younger DS because he found out the courts won't separate. And he was actually stupid enough to email it to me that he guessed he had no choice but to take both because of the stupidity of the courts in not separating siblings.
This just keeps getting better and better...
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