HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
HELP
3
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 9:08am
I have been involved in an emotionally abusive marraige for 5 years. I am emotionally and physically drained from the constant mental assaults from being in this relationship. Although I have been physically separated from my husband for 2 1/2 years, we had continued to see each other and try to reconcile. He is AGAIN angry or fed up with me and has not contacted either myself or our 5 year old daughter in over a month.This is the first use of this tactic. He typically calls many times throughout the day speaking with both my daughter and myself. As ridiculous as this sounds even to me, I miss him terribly and feel awlful. I have been able not to call him but sent him a letter urging him to contact his daughter.He has not responded.My daughter has been asking for him constantly. This has been the MOST difficult part. I am having a very difficult time understanding his behavior and treatment. What do I do? Please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
In reply to: jestlene2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:13pm
My ex does this to my kids all the time, broken promises, unkept visits. It's a constant thing. His behavior is not in my control. I will not to anything to encourage him or discourage him or make it easier for him or harder for him, I have my life and he has his life and he makes decisions not me. All I can do is support my kids when they go through the pain that he puts them through. I can't speak to the part about missing him, because I'm just glad to be rid of him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: jestlene2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:36pm

Hi honey -


This is all a form of control.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
In reply to: jestlene2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 11:36pm
It doesn't sound ridiculous to miss him. You really cared about him and you spent all that time together. Plus, he's the father of your daughter. The thing to realize is that you don't deserve to be hurt, even by someone you love.
I guess you need to ask yourself why you still want to reconcile, if you do. Is it worth it? If he's unreliable and will have tantrums, that will happen whether or not you're with him.