Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2004
Help!!!
6
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:40am
I have a very large problem on my hands. My brother is a very abusive child. He thinks he owns everything because he's "stronger" than everyone else. He orders around my mom and disregards anything my parents say. My parents even facilitate his obsession with lifting weights which i think is putting my life in jeopardy. My brother is a great kid around people outside the immediate members of our family but he treats us like we are expendable. Lately he as taken to physically attacking me. He leaves me so bruised i often can't move my arms for days. My parents tell me to stop "provoking" him, but just sitting at the kitchen table with the Sunday Comics seems to "provoke" him. I'm worried about any future relationships he might have. If he acts this way with me now, how is he going to act in the future with a girlfriend? The really sad thing is he just turned fifteen last month. I myself am only seventeen, but i find myself wondering if i'm going to live to see college. One of these days when he pulls a knife on me he will actually hurt me instead of just threatening. My parents don't do anything aside from tell me to walk away. I can't fight back because he has brain damage from previous childhood concussions, and I can't go anywhere, because there's nowhere to go. Granted I have a car, but if my keys are in the part of the house I can't get to, where do I go. I'm afraid that if I call the police, my brother's future will be seriously affected, and I have no proof other than the bruises I have. My parents never actually witness the events. I know I should do something but I'm not sure what.

Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: icycoldqueen
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 3:31am
That sounds like such a difficult and sad situation! I am so sorry to hear that your parents are not taking an active part in preventing this abuse. Are they also afraid of your brother in some way? I am new to this bulletin and can't give great advice, but a couple of things that sprung to my head to keep you safe are: get a copy of your car key made, so you have a spare and you can keep it with you. That way, you can escape quickly if you need to. Also, maybe you could install a lock on your bedroom door if you do not already have one? I don't know if this will get you in trouble with him or your parents, but it will help you have a safe place to rest. Your parents may not understand what you are going through, but believe me, the women on this board do, so you should keep checking in... Take care.
Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
In reply to: icycoldqueen
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:31pm
How old is your brother may I ask and how old are you? Call the National DV hotline and they could make some great suggestions. I agree with teodorra on getting a extra set of keys made up for your car. Is there any family you could go to and talk about this? I am afraid for you Please be careful and welcome to the boards. Keep us posted and try to be safe!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: icycoldqueen
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 1:42pm

Oh, my.


Welcome to the board icy.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: icycoldqueen
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 2:40pm

If your parents are not cognizant of the fact that your brother is physically abusive, and in fact, seem to condone his behavior, you need to alert an adult you trust as to your brother's behavior.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
In reply to: icycoldqueen
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 3:04pm

Icy, honey, you have lots of options.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
In reply to: icycoldqueen
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 10:30pm
Send him to my house, I have people to kick his butt, if I cant!!!!!!!! I have been through abuse and will not take it anymore, I am done with the crap and I will no longer take it!