He's getting all my mail
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| Sat, 01-22-2005 - 8:18am |
OK ladies...I'm not even sure if I should post on this board or another but here goes...
My STBX has changed the "family" address to his address, so I'm not getting any of my mail...at first I thought it was a mistake being made by the postal service, but now have proof that he first put the mail on vacation and was going to the post office to get it. Next I recieved an auto-generated letter informing me that the family address was changed.
I have called and complained to the Postal service 8 times now, I've changed my address to my mom's address (soon found out that was the biggest mistake, because she was opening my mail and then calling me to yell at me about it). So then I went to the post office and changed the mail back to my address...STILL no mail...He is getting my utility bills, bank statements, phone bills, mortgage bills, and everything else except all the flyers and junk mail that comes weekly. He's not paying any of them so why would he want my mail (other than wanting to know who I'm calling)?
I can't help but think that this is just another control issue that he has with me because I won't give him the house in the divorce settlement. There is no way I will let him take the house as my mom spent my portion of the inheritance to pay it off. He then decided that we needed a loan so he could "fund his new construction business". So here I am with another mortgage and he spent all the money in 3 weeks time, and not on his business either.
What do you all think I should do? I've tried everything short of filing criminal charges against him, but I guess I will if he doesn't cease and desist. He is invading my privacy and getting my mail without my permission.

First of all, do you have an attorney?
Mama Harmony
Yes I do have an attorney and even he is aware that my husband is doing this...we've tried to get the courts to make him cease and desist, but they don't seem to care...
I have tried to speak to the postal inspector but she assures me that there is nothing that they can do either. She says that they don't get into domestic disputes and because we are still legally married he can divert my mail...somehow I don't believe it but short of filing complaints with the FBI then...I will indeed get a P.O. box as you have suggested, but let me tell you, it pisses me off that I should even have to do this. This man I married is unbelievable!!
As far as my Mom goes, she says it was a mistake...once is a mistake, but all of my mail is not. She even had the gall to call me up and ask me "Who did you call in Kansas, Who did you call in Michigan, etc. and so on". That is blatantly sticking her nose into my private business and I had already told her twice before not to open my mail. I told her that if I wanted to be controlled and abused I'd go back to my husband!!! I made her cry then, but I feel I have a right to my privacy.
Colorado is not a community property state. I hope that the courts see that not only is he getting my mail, but he is not following court orders as stated on November 12, 2004. He has decided that he won't pay me child support, maintenance, 57% of my inheritance back, or pay on the loan he took out for his "business". Unfortunately my name is on the loan as well because the house is in my name too. How stupid could I be?
We were court ordered each to sell a vehicle, and put the money into our attorney's trust account. I have since done that and he has not. He is fighting me on getting any of that money because he says that I don't deserve any of it. I can't help but wonder how much he'll get away with before they give him some iron-barred therapy.
What do you think?
IMO, hon, you need to have some words with your lawyer and haul your H's butt back into court and present all of the evidence, then throw in the mail issue, because Har is right, it is a federal offense.
CL-Blueliner4
Thanks Ladies...all of your advice will be followed Monday morning and we'll see what happens from there...
You are some of the most intelligent and understanding people I have ever had the pleasure of confiding in and THANK GOD FOR THESE BOARDS!!! I'd forgotten what it was like to have outside contact and not being so isolated!! How wonderful!
I will keep you aprised of the situation as it unfolds! Thank you again so much for all your support!!