He's gone...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
He's gone...
5
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 5:51pm
My H left Friday. Took all of his clothes. Left me with a fist-hole in my new bedroom wall and a bunch of stuff to take care of with zero notice, but, he's gone. Gotta go. Crazy week ahead. Just thought I'd update.

MG
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: mgnorth
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 6:05pm

Glad he's gone and I hope you don't get assessed any costs to patch the hole.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
In reply to: mgnorth
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 6:54pm
Nah, There won't be any charges. We own the house. Biggest problem right now is he left without fixing the furnace and it is September. Not good in these northern climes. I will take a picture of the hole though. Good idea.

MG
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: mgnorth
Mon, 09-20-2004 - 7:29pm

Newcam had a similar issue last year.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
In reply to: mgnorth
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 6:52am
Hi MG,

Listen to Blue. Change your locks, (if you don't have a PFA call your attorney to see if you can get exclusive rights to the house immediately and find someone to fix the furnace. You should definitely start looking up a good handyman. If your lucky, you won't have many problems, but chances are he hasn't maintained anything for a long time.

I changed my locks initially, but now have a security system...well worth the investment.

About the hole in the wall, don't fix it right away. Everytime I got weak over the first few months I just looked at the missing doorknob on my bedroom door. It kept me going and was validation that all of this wasn't my fault.

The best thing you can do now is have as little contact with him as possible. The no contact thing helped me get better so much quicker.

Feel free to email me anytime. Don't pay attention to what others say or how they treat you. Your true friends will be there for you. There is a new life on the horizon for you. You are going to be traveling on a bumpy road for a while, but the trip is well worth it!

Hang in there,

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
In reply to: mgnorth
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 9:54pm
Hey MG,

Sorry I saw your post so late--I've been out of things for a bit. Good for you (at least as long as he stays gone). It may not feel like it for awhile, but it will. And that's without the legal fees that you might have incurred. This will be better and you are plenty strong and resourceful enough to make that so. And with counseling, good things can happen for your son, too.

It will be crazy, and it doesn't necessarily stop being so all at once, but the good times get better and better, I'm finding. Just watching my son blossom into a happy kid again makes me almost cry, and doing things that give me pleasure is a bonus. I wish the same for you.

CC