Hey its been a LONG time since I posted

Avatar for sweet_angel21
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Hey its been a LONG time since I posted
3
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 7:36pm
Hello-

I haven't posted on here in about a year...Don't know if any of you will still remember me? The last time I wrote I was debating on staying with my abusive boyfriend.

Well, I have been apart from him for a year and 2 months now. =) I think I am over him, but not totally...I mean I feel like I can't get into another relationship...it's awful I actually feel like I am "his". I mean don't get me wrong I have been seeing other guys but nothing official. This guy that I am seeing, for just about 3 months now, wants to start an actual relationship...I am moving but he wants me to stay and wants to get a house together. We've been friends for over 8 months but started hooking up the last 3 months. It's alright...I mean I still feel like I'm not ready for a relationship yet...U think that is a long time?

As for my ex boyfriend, we still keep in touch...He is doing a LOT better now. He got help and counseling when he finally realized he lost me. I think he actually is a whole different person now. It's actually kinda weird I was attracted to his bad boy image that he had before, and now that he's changed...he's just a good guy. I think that's what made me kinda get over him. What's wrong with that? I mean I still do love him I just don't feel like I am "in love" with him anymore..I don't know..I thought that's kinda weird. Am I just messed up or what? Well, he wants to get back together again and he is doing great..He made a huge investment in something and is gonna be retired very soon at age 22!! Can you believe that? He wants us to get married and everything. Anyways...I would appreciate it if people responded...Don't know if anyone remembers me? I'm sure there are HUNDREDS of people that post...So...It's aaight if no one remembers me ;0) This is just an update..I'll check back tomorrow or later tonight..Late!

sweet angel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 7:57pm

Hi Angel, I do remember you.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for sweet_angel21
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 1:10am

Hey thanks Blueliner

Yeah I know what you mean about not having contact with my ex...It's sad..I still do every now and then, especially if things don't go right with someone else, I find myself calling him. I have even seen him a couple of times within the past month and half. Once he came by when I was sick to drop off movies, medicine and snacks for me...another time I was stranded at my friends and he gave me a ride back home. I was hanging out at my guy friends, my friend (a guy btw) walked me out and asked my ex for a cigarette, my ex got all pissed off at him and asked if he (my friend) wanted to start something, my ex then took off his seatbelt and almost got out of the car to beat up my friend until I got mad at him and said that's exactly the reason why I left him. He apolojized to me and got back in. I guess I do see that he still is the same...It's just hard for me to believe it I guess? I never had a guy that would do anything for me, love me like he does...but guess it's not love is it?? I mean it's just he tells me he loves me all the time, does romantic things, the only person I ever depended on, and to top it off I know he wouldn't ever cheat on me...

As for the guy I told you about that I was dating...I kinda saw the warning signs in him too...Well yeah he wanted me to stay and not move away, and like a dumbass I did stay but I didn't move in with him. I did stay at his place a Lot though...One night I was waiting for him to come back, he didn't come back until LATE with two girls, I was PISSED, he was all drunk...and he kept on trying to hold me, I was getting mad and pushing his hands away then he grabbed mine and was squeezing it really tightly...trying to hurt me? you think? until I asked him, "you're not trying to hurt me are you? Because if you are that would be really stupid.." then he let go. He knows that if he did anything to me my guy friends would beat him up if he laid a hand on me. (the majority of my friends are guys) Anyways but now that guy is a cop...that wouldn't be such a smart thing to do...and if he is even the abusive type he probably knows my guy friends couldn't back me up anymore...We're over though, but I still talk to him too..

Do the majority of girls/women that came out of abusive relationships always feel like they need to be with someone? Because that's the way I feel...It's awful, I don't feel complete unless I am with someone. I've always been like that actually. Anways...write back..let me know what you think. ;0)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 3:40am

I saw you found NB, I hope you were able to find your posts OK.


The feeling you are speaking of is called codependency.

CL-Blueliner4