Hi, guys......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2005
Hi, guys......
13
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 6:30pm
When I post here lately, I seriously don't feel the support. Initially, everyone here used to reply a lot to them. But now, no. I am a little hurt by this. I feel that after a while, you sort of get to know some of the posters. This is a place where I feel like I can let my hair down, so to speak. Just wanted to let you know that it feels like if I stop posting here, no one would really care. I've always felt that you can really get to know people on the boards thru their posts, and well, maybe either people don't really know me here, or are sick of hearing about my relationship with my husband. It hurts either way.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 6:46pm

Hi Smiley -


I'm sorry you don't feel as though you are getting the support that you need here.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2005
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 7:03pm

Hey cl-blueliner,

I didn't mean that I would stop posting. I meant that it felt like if I would stop posting no one would notice. I think that the community leaders on most boards are very helpful including this one. I meant that the people who post on this board are not as quick to answer my posts as they used to. I like posters like 'rich' because she is moving forward and always updates everyone. But it will take me a little time to move forward from this (about a month is what I plan). I just feel that I'm not me anymore, and I'm thinking, "G-D, I can't even get support from a board." I also love helping and giving support, but I guess these days I'm asking for support or replies more than I'm giving it. Either way, many times I see posters inquiring about eachother, and well, it doesn't happen for me, and that hurts a little. I'd like to feel that people are interested in knowing what's going on with me, but I can't force people to want to care. It just all ties in together with lack of support from my husband, you know? Seriously, I don't feel like myself anymore, in another lifetime, I think I would've gotten a lot of support. It's like, do I not know myself anymore? I don't know. It's confusing for me. But thanks for the reply. I do think you guys are definitely doing your job, I guess I addressed this more to the posters, but then again, I see that a lot of new people post and not always the regulars. If you would like to reply to this one as well,it would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 7:46pm

It happened for me like that at the beginning, too.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 9:18pm
Please don't take it personally if some of us don't respond to your posts.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 9:49pm

Hi smileylove,

I'm new here, but I'm NOT new to domestic abuse. I was abused for over 12 years, before I got out. I've been divorced and happy for 5 years now. But abuse free for 7. :) I know what it's like being trapped in an abusive relationship, so I know how you feel. You can't get out, until the time is RIGHT for you.

I hope that you continue to return here. Because once you lose that support, it's an awful lonely and tough life. Ask me, I know. Right now... The only TRUE friend I have lives about 17 miles from me. And I have no vehicle to go see her. I am raising my five children alone. And sometimes, the only laughter and support I get is online.

If you ever want to talk outside of this support group, you can reach me at :

sixisenough@centurytel.net

Hugs,

Lori
MOM to Jennifer, Kristina, Marissa, Caitlyn, and Isabel
Prevention Advocate for DV, Advocate for children suffering from Sturge-Weber Syndrome

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:02pm

Hi Sweetie!

I too, have felt the same as you at times...but, I can honestly say that there are times when I've been too wrapped up in my own problems that either my words don't come out right or I don't have any good advice. I just walk away for a day or two and when I come back, I'm in a better frame of mind! Please don't feel that we wouldn't miss you if you stopped posting...I guarantee you we would.

Hon, I've noticed that the boards have been rather slow in the past weeks, and that they are especially quiet on the weekends. Just be patient and if you feel that you haven't gotten enough support, BUMP your post. I don't know if it's allowed, but I see other people doing it, so why not you?

I vent, you vent, everyone of us vents when we need to. Just keep posting whenever you need to and you will get an answer! Just remember that all of us have/are going through the same things you are...we love you!

Melanie

Images hosted by photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:22pm

There are so many people I want to respond to on here, so many I want to support and help, so many I want to listen to. And that includes you. I read the posts as often as I can, and I think about this board very often and of the posters who post here - which includes you. :)


I honestly truly just don't have the time to post as much as I want to. Between working full-time, raising and spending time with my three biological kids (two of them in school and all three of them under age 10), keeping the house as clean as I can, paying the bills, doing the shopping, dating a man with two kids of his own, watching movies and folding laundry, doing the dishes, and lightly emailing friends, I really don't have the kind of time I thought I would. My kids' father is not an active part of their lives (his choice) and I almost always have my kids unless they are in school or daycare. And I love being their mom.


So please know that I think of you and everyone who posts here so very often, and I am always wishing everyone the very best.


:)


Hang in there.


(((HUGGLES)))


Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2005
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:45pm
I think you guys are doing a great job (you and cl-blueliner). I was mostly addressing to the rest of the posters. Just felt bad that my posts were not being answered as much as they used to be, but also many new people here come and go and most of the old regulars are not always around. But I do think that out of many boards you guys are usually swift to answer and very helpful and informative. So sorry if you think I meant the leaders of the board, I didn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:49pm
No worries, I hope you plan on staying with us.
5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2005
In reply to: smileylove
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:52pm
It's funny that you posted to my reply. Because I read your post not long ago, and thought what am I thinking? This woman is raising her five children alone, and she deserves so much credit for that. The reason I was thinking that was because I thought how it might be hard to raise two children alone, but so many women are raising more alone, and it is better to struggle with a physically hard life or emotionally stressful one than to add abuse to the mix and struggle with that, too. There is no better life than having relative peace in the home. It is by no means easy, and I'm sure the only way thru it is to take it one day at a time. (I also have a friend who has five kids, two with slight autism, and she divorced her husband. She is happy and whistling all day because he used to be abusive to her and she is so glad to be free of that).
Anyway, I would be glad to talk anytime, and maybe to provide a laugh and chuckle as well.

Pages