Hi I am back again

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2008
Hi I am back again
12
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 11:20am

Some of you may remember me from a long time ago.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 11:47am

My vote is to NOT go back. You already know he has not and will not change. You already know those living conditions are unacceptable. Yes your job sucks. But that does not mean you will be stuck in that job for all of eternity. Keep knocking on doors and eventually the right one will open for you. Put your faith back into God, just because you cannot go to a physical building does not mean he is not right there next to you waiting for you to reach out an take his gifts. As for going to church on the weekends, does your church not have mid week services? I know many churches have either a Wednesday night or Thursday night service as well as the weekend services. Another choice is look to see if your church has an archive of their services you can get ahold of so you can still get your feeding even if fellowship is absent right now. If not, investigate on line for a church with the same faith as you that might have either an archive you can access or possibly live services.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 12:49pm

Go back for financial reasons?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 2:08pm

Hi;

I agree with the other posters but here is my question to you?

Are you going back to HIM per say for a relationship or are you going back to just live there and live your life?
Does his gfriend know that you are going back there?

What would scare me is that he could want sex from you when you go back amongst other

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2008
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 2:25pm
I originally worked as a legal secretary in London. There was mainly audio typing and Word was the only system used. I have little or no knowledge of Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook or any of the other systems used. I did try to pick up Excel once before but was in such a bad state mentally that I just could not retain the information. I do have the books for dummies from the Library that I look at. Ideally I would like to attend a class but these are mainly in the evenings and I work evenings (and never the same every week) so that makes it difficult). The same goes for day courses as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2008
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 2:31pm

I would like to do classes to upgrade my experience in Excel, Outlook, Powerpoint, etc but while I am working part time job I am unable to dictate what hours and days I am available which makes attending class well nigh impossible.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 2:48pm

Hello;

YOU didnt answer my question?
Are you going back to your ex for a real relationship or just to live there and save money?

If you go back into a relationship with him you know the same thing will happen,. He will abuse you again.

If you go back and stay in a room and live your own life you might have a slight chance in hell.. I wouldnt recommend that but which one is it??

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Thu, 05-19-2011 - 4:05pm

Hi Kathy, and I'm glad you were able to find us again.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 05-20-2011 - 12:21pm

Hi;

As always great advice cajon.

My question is if someone had to go to a shelter would they then have to work their way out of the shelter? Personally I cant imagine that shelters are safe or the best way to go but if there was no other choice then I guess that is it.

I said once before because I wasnt getting physically beaten the court examiner told me back in 2006 to return to the marital home and work on ways of leaving.. She also said to just get a divorce and settlement and have court orders in place so that ex couldnt have anymore control. It kind of worked for awhile but it wasnt easy.

I am assuming there are no clear cut and good ways out if the economy sucks and apts. are hard to come by.

For myself I was fortunate to go to a friends place and then to my family. Right now I am trying to dig my way out of my current situation with a friend but its toxic..but I know how to deal with things more right now because I am stronger and have been through alot.

thank you for your posts.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 7:48am

Good morning.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 11:11am

Hi;

thank you for the post Cajon

I just thought that shelters had a time limit on how long you can stay in one and that one would have to find a job and place and leave when there time was up.

Yes; I agree that the court examiner had no experience in this. She sent me home with restraining order and that was it.

I live in NY and dv laws are still primitive here but for me it was back in 2006 so maybe the laws are better now. I dont know.I dont know that when I went to live in NJ I was given much better treatment when ex was stalking me. They seem to recognize dv there more. I even had a woman detective who would check on me to see if I was still alive.

Thank God I had family; friends and some resources to get out.

thank You

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