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| Sat, 02-12-2005 - 8:35pm |
Hi Ladies, I was going to leave this board but I thought I would
do something before I go. I am going to lay my heart, my life out
on the line here, so you can understand who I am and why I am
here.
I lived in an abusive relationship for 10 years; I was mentally, physically,
and emotionally abused, Yes that’s right women can be abusers as well.
I am also responsible for being an abuser, mentally, physically, and
emotionally. How did all this start you might ask? Well I really can not say
and I don’t think it really matters the fact is I am responsible only for what I
have done. No matter what someone does to you, you must make the responsible
choices for you
With the help of a wonderful woman counselor I was able to stop minimizing,
Denying, and blaming my abusive actions on anyone but myself
My last encounter with my ex is very emotional to me and I want to share it with you
I had caught my ex cheating and our marriage was over, I did not want to engage in
Arguing, yelling fighting in any way it was over and that was that, she on the other hand
Tried everything she could to get me to hit her, called me names, through things at me
Tell me explicit thing about her affairs taunting me at every turn. When none of this worked
She waited until I was sitting in a chair, she came up from behind me and started pounding
on me with her fists, I raised my shoulder to block the blows and began begging her to stop.
I stood up and she keep hitting me, at this point our then 4-year-old son was clinging to my leg
I begged and begged her to please stop or I would have to call 911. As I was trying to make my
way to the phone she continued to hit me. With tears rolling down my cheeks
( not from being hurt) but from how clear every thing I had learned was to me at this point
How this was effecting our son how out of control she was, and wow calm and helpless I was
I picked up the phone dialed 911, she stop and said you wouldn’t dare. When she realized
that I had really called 911 she went totally berserk slamming doors screaming like a crazy
woman I garbed my son and ran as fast and as far away as we could get
I have to say that for 2 years before this there was no arguing or fighting at all
I wanted my family to have every thing all the abuse of the past would not let them have
So what did I learn from all of this?
You can only control you own actions and if you are with someone that can not, then
It’s time to leave
As for my son, who is now almost 9, he remembers all of this and he is an emotional
Wreck. He lives with me goes to counseling and is in a special need class for school
So if any of you have children and any thing remotely like this is going on then get them
Out now
I am here because I am passionate about the fact that no one and I mean no one should
Be hit or made to feel trapped or inferior to anyone in any way especially the children
I also want to help, learn and be help with all the knowledge I can
Thank you
Randy

First of all Randy, I want to welcome you to the board.
Hi everyone I was just playing around in here to see if there was anything that would relate to me and I found this and I am so thankful that I did find it. My story is most likely just the same as you hear and tell everyday bu tit also feels good to know that I have somewhere to go to release my anger, frustration and hurt over what happened and in some ways still happening!
See almost a year ago me and my bf decided that we would move away from where I grew up and my family still is! If I would have known that what would follow was going to happen to me then I never would have let him convince me that this is what I needed. About one month after we got moved and settled more than four hours away from anything and anyone I knew he decided to go out and get totally drunk. Well when he came home he decided he was going to kick me out and take what money I did have from me that way I wouldn't be able to get myself a hotel room for the night! When I figured out what he was doing it was too late and he had the palm of my hand bleeding profusely and also had punched me and tried to pin me up against the wall by my neck, I had to figure out a way to get away from him and get to the phone to make the phone call that I knew would be my only way of getting him away from me! Well I bit him on the shoulder and he let me go, begging me not to call the cops saying he was so sorry and he would do whatever I wanted him to do, he was trying to get me to back out of calling 911. Little did he know that I had been through this before and wasn't going to stand for it from him or anyone else for that matter! Well he went to jail and I moved in with a friend that I had just come to meet the very next day! I stayed away from him for two months trying to tell myself that I would get over him and all he had caused, what a lie! He called me two months, almost to the day after this happened and wanted to meet me somewhere just to talk! I met him at a very public place that I was well known at. When he showed up all the anger and bitterness that I had welled up in me disappeared and I instantly fell in love with him all over again! We got back together and are still together to this day but one thing about it is I am starting to realize that I am not happy with him! Now instead of physically abusing me he does it every other way he can find and I am too scared to tell him that I want to move back to Kansas and get him out of my life for good! He tells me all the time how he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, but at the very next minute he yells at me and tells me how he wishes he could beat me and he puts me down and tells me that my family doesn't care about me.
I guess I just needed to find something that I could do or someway to express how I feel to someone, and again I am thankful that I found this board! Now all I ask is that you guys help me out with any advice you could possibly give to me!
Crystal