His attorney building a case against her!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2001
His attorney building a case against her!
2
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 1:02pm

The other day my friend gets home and there was a message on her answering machine from her husbands attorney to give him a call back. So she calls the guy back. ( If she would have called me first I would have told her do not call the guy.)He tells her that if she does not write a letter to the judge and try to get the charges dropped against her husband that they are going to build a case against her to prove she is an unfit mother.Keep in mind the husband basically allows the kids to do whaever they want because he thinks mom is to hard on them. He thinks if they get a D in a class it is fine becasue at least they passed.He likes to play the fun parent and she always has to be the cop parent. He also said that if she does not write that letter than they aregoing to ask for it to be posponed in order to prepare this case.He should be in court right now as I type this.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 5:14pm
Stina, your friend's husbands attorney is engaging in an illegal and HIGHLY unethical practice by threatening her and trying to intimidate her. She might want to consider filing a complaint with the bar association in her state. Second, it is in her best interests to contact the local DV agency/shelter and ask for help. They can provide SO much, especially in attorney referrals. They can steer her to attorneys who have experience dealing with abusive spouses. Her husband's attorney is trying to intimidate her and make her cave. With DV as a component of the custody and divorce agreements, he is on the losing side and if there is one thing abusers HATE, it is losing that control. His attorney is doing his dead level best to RE-VICTIMIZE her and it is wrong, wrong, wrong! Her advocate at the local DV agency can help her with ALL of this, including getting an order of protection (which has CRIMINAL consequences) which she definitely qualifies for. And tell her, absolutely DO NOT agree to mutual restraining orders. If her husband's attorney contacts her again, tell her not to respond. Don't even call him back. He is the lowest of the low to try this tactic. Your friend could greatly benefit from a DV support group and counseling, all available through the DV agency in your area. The two of you are so blessed to have each other. Know that y'all don't have to go through this alone, there is help available. Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE for info on the help available in your area. They are there 24 hrs. a day. Keep us posted.

Mama Harmony

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 05-18-2011 - 5:20pm
Oh, I forgot to mention. What this attorney told her is a TOTALLY TYPICAL tactic employed by abusers all the time. Abusers will almost always try to have the mother declared unfit. It's nothing in the world but further attempts to continue to control her and continue to abuse her. It's also their feeble attempt to get out of having to pay child support. If she goes for an order of protection, there are provisions in that order for child custody and support as well. Please get your friend to the local DV agency. You can't begin to imagine all the ins and outs of the game her abuser is trying to play. The more knowledge, info and support she has, the more powerful she will be in turning his tactics against him and to her advantage. If you go to the Lundy Bancroft website, there is a LOT of info on there as well, just follow the links to articles and resources. There's an especially helpful website linked there about helping moms retain/gain custody, I just can't recall the name of it right now. Good luck!

Mama Harmony