His birthday - need advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2005
His birthday - need advice!
1
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 1:47pm

So it is Day 3 since he left the house after I asked him to leave, but his bday is coming up this Saturday. He asked me yesterday if he could be home for his bday with tears in his eyes, but I told him we are playing it one day at a time. He has been cooperating all along by not forcing himself back. He asked yesterday if he could come back, but I told him I was not ready so he respected my wishes. So far that has been a relief that he has been cooperating with staying away. I am worried though that he is going to put the big manipulative moves when his birthday comes up and it will be really tough to stand my ground, but I figure I have celebrated 26 birthdays with him, my not celebrating one of those will not kill him.

The problem is that my kids 13 and 20 are also asking if Dad can come back for his b-day, so I don't want to put the girls through this kind of hurt, because I am not sure they understand that I am needing time to heal. He is suggesting we spend it at an overnight hotel as a family, I think that is way too soon!

Need some major coaching advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 12:31am
could just your girls spend time with him on his bday, i.e. give them some cash to take his for supper and then to a movie or play minigolf or sumthin to spend time together...if you dont feel comfortable spending the time with him then dont...he is a big boy and im sure he will get over it if he can see his kids, and if not too bad...the hotel idea sounds like a bad idea as it may look to him as an opportunity to get back in ur bed so to speak...but i guess it is up to you and how you are feeling at this time..