Hit once and deserved it? Please Help.
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| Tue, 05-31-2005 - 10:20am |
Hi everyone,
I am new to this forum and I am not sure I even belong here. In fact I can not find a forum that best suits my problem...but I thought I would start here.
I have been married for almost 3 years to a "perfect" man. He is the poster child for what every woman dreams of. Caring, works hard, loves me to death, takes care of family member (his and mine)...etc. etc. etc. The problem is that for reasons I can not explain I do not love him anymore...I have known this for a while and kept thinking maybe the 'feeling' would come back. I love him like a friend...that is all.
Well...to cut to the chase, I cheated on him while vacationing a few weeks ago. I still talk to this person via e-mail and find him attractive...I do not want to stop the communication. With this being said, I told my husband I wanted to seperate....and a few days later I told him I wanted a divorce. I realize that it is all my fault. I ruined his life and so much will be changing for him. Well, yesterday during a heated discussion he slapped me accross the face very hard. I did not hit back. I just stood in shock. He apologized (as it is not in his chacter) and I told him it was my fautl becasue of all I am putting it through and I deserved it.
My question is hitting like this okay under the circumstances? I do not think he will do it again but them again I have never been hit before.
Please help.

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Welcome Eliza...
First of all...NO ONE deserves to be slapped.
No, it's absolutely not okay for anyone to hit you. He does not sound like a perfect man to me.
It takes two people to make a marriage work, so I doubt seriously that the breakdown in the marriage is all your fault. It sounds to me like you're carrying around a heavy burden of needless guilt.
Sometimes marriages don't work out, and it's okay to leave them. You shouldn't have to feel like you're ruining his life or that you deserve to be hit.
Hi Eliza, welcome -
Your therapist is right.
CL-Blueliner4
Eliza...
Please do not put the blame on yourself.
Eliza, why do you think you destroyed his life?
CL-Blueliner4
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