Hitting...it happened again
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 03-30-2005 - 6:06am |
I have not posted here before but after this morning I was compelled to.
I've been with my bf for a little under six years, there's always been a tension, but lately he has started hitting me and throwing things and getting reallly angry.
A month ago or maybe less we were in bed and we were arguing, when all of a sudden he hits the middle of my back with his fist. I didn't even see it coming, my head was facing the other way!
He apologized but said I wouldn't stop asking him the same questions so I got him mad.
Then this morning, he woke me up for the 4th time, so I asked him why he had to keep moving and he wouldn't answer, so I kept asking him, stupid I know, but I just wanted to know why, and then he threw the covers and hit me in the same spot but not as hard this time. He didn't apologize this time.
Is this going to keep repeating? Should I get help? I feel so confused. Sometimes he's so nice and we communicate fine and then other times he just blows up. I'm scared. I mean I'm safe now but what about next time we're together in bed and I ask him something?
I hate to break up with him, especially since I feel like I'm annoying and sort of asked for this, but not really, not for the hitting. :(

Welcome to the board Fairy.
I third that.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself. What you would do if your best friend told you this? I am guessing you would tell her that it's so not her fault and no one deserves to be hit ever. It's childish and you wouldn't tolerate that from a child so why a man?
Yes, it will get worse and it will not stop until you leave. It's like gaining weight at 5lbs you say well I'll just cut out snacks and it will go away, then before you know it you haven't lost and in fact have gained 30 more lbs. Abuse is the same thing. It's slow and gradual and you don't see it at first. Leaving doesn't mean an immediate end. It just means you can no longer live in that environment. Keep in mind though that only 1% of abusers ever truelly change and it will take years of intensive therapy to change for him. You are lucky in that you are not married. Once married you are legally tied to him and leaving is much harder. If I were you, I would cut my losses, get a good exit plan in effect and strap on some good Nikes.
Remember, you are a Queen and deserve to be treated as such. Queens ask questions and deserve answers not grunts or hits in the back.