Hopeless can someone help?
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Hopeless can someone help?
| Fri, 09-23-2005 - 5:56pm |
I know no one can really help me but my self but i thought i would share my situation with someone to see what type of advice you can give me. I am 22 years old and i have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. Out of that time i have been a victim of both physcial and mental abuse. I would say on certain aspects i am a strong individual on certain things but on certain things im not. Im one of the people who believe that if you treat others with respect then they will return the favor. Now im stuck in a situation where i feel hopeless. Im not married to this guy and i have no kids by him but i feel trapped. I have my own apartment and my own car and he is one of those people that feels whatever is mine is his and i have no say so over my own things anymore. I made the mistake of letting him know where i live and now i cant get him to leave. I tried to be straight forward with him and tell him that we cant be together but it doesnt work. He always seems to bring up the fact that he is stronger than me and that he can hit me if he wants to and that he is doing me a favor by not doing those things. Im scared that if i bring up the issue again that he will try to do harm to me and destroy everything i worked so hard for. Im really at the end of my rope and i cant cope with this. I cant sleep or eat and im losing weight and its just taking over my whole life. I feel like i have no option like im either forced to be miserable or risk losing everything i worked hard for. I would just like to know if anybody has any suggestions or if anybody has been in my situation and has gotten out. Could you please shed some light on me and my situation.

Welcome to the board Candice....
First of all, your bf doesn't get it and he never will.
Hi, Candice. Your comments about hurting yourself struck a chord for me. You deeply deserve to be out of this right now. You can't get him out long enough to get an RO? Then the next thing to think about is whether you can get out by yourself during the day. If so, go straight to court or to the police station and request the RO. The police will go to your place and remove him. If that's not possible, two mintues on the phone will bring the police over. Do you see what I'm saying? You are worth whatever length you have to go to to make that break.
If you're worried that he may come back to hurt you, then listen to that. Do what it takes to feel safe. Your concern for your family makes sense, and if you think he will harm them, you need to tell the judge that. If they would be in danger on account of your tossing him, then they're already not safe.
Keep us posted, ok? And if he uses your computer, clear the history. Big hugs and best of luck.
Hi Candice,
I know you're afraid of what he might do if you try to make him leave, but think about what he's already done to you. He's abused you physically and emotionally, and he's still threatening you. Now you're thinking of hurting yourself. That's pretty serious stuff. Since you've asked him to leave, and he's not leaving, then it's time to bring in the police, and please tell all your close friends and family what's going on. Remember, you're already in serious danger. Thinking about the future can be too overwhelming when you're in the midst of such a stressful situation. Just take this one day at a time.
Good for you hun.