How can I.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
How can I.......
1
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 11:42am
possible still love someone that has caused so much hurt? I thought that I didn't have any feelings left the last time he threw a tantrum, but he is being good and seems to be trying to change. I'm still concerned because the doctor gave him some medicine last week to help him "calm down" and he still hasn't gotten it filled. He is being super nice to me lately, helping around the house and doing extra stuff. He is getting increasingly hostile to my adopted daughter though, it breaks my heart. I have had her since she was 7 and she is almost 13 now. He says that he tried to be good to her, but he gives up now and he said that he can't stand to be around her. She makes mistakes, sometimes big ones.....but she is still only a kid and I think she does pretty good considering what she has been through. I just don't know how to deal with this, I've talked to him. He doesn't want to listen, he says that it isn't his fault, he thinks it is hers. He thinks that everything she does, is a personal attack on him. It's not, she is just a teenager making mistakes. I do love him, and I have to think of our 2 year old who just adores him. Everytime he thinks I've had it with him, he begs and cries and says that I just don't give him enough attention and that I am not trying hard enough. I haven't been trying very hard lately, because I have had enough of living like this, so I feel guilty when he says this. I don't know how to make it work though, how can we be a family when one half hates the other half? I know it is just a matter of time before he blows up again, he has a bad anger problem. I'm just confused and hurt and scared. But why do I still love him after all that? I don't want to hurt him, I don't want his life to fall apart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 06-13-2005 - 12:51pm

Hun I have to tell you, that if he were SERIOUS about changing, he wouldn't be putting the guilt and the blame on you and your 13yr old.

5yrssm