How can I

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
How can I
3
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 11:59am
Maybe I should be putting this in the Off Topic discussion but here it goes. How can I explain to my friends and family on why i stay? For instance I have been talking with his X-wife ( I know its wrong but i figure she has been there too) and its like she calls me everyday here at work just to make sure I am ok or will E-mail me. When I did leave for the three days I was out she was one of the people who came and helped me move some stuff out. SO does NOT know that and would be really pissed off if he knew she was even at our place. I don't know if she is truly being my friend or just really hates him. I can't even explain it myself sometimes why i stay. Maybe because i hang on to those good few times that we do have. Things have been OK for awhile now not the greatest but Ok. So any ideas here. Its not just her that aske me either why stay it is family and other really good friends. Thanks for any advice
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 1:13pm

I'm sorry I didn't get to you yesterday, my office has been insane.


As far as family and friends go, it's hard to explain abuse to someone who has never experienced it.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 2:29pm
Thanks for responding, don't worry about the delay. I am actually going to go see a therapist on July 28th and she deals in DV. I will print something out for the XW. I am so glad I have this board to come to for support evertone here is great! He is planning on takeing his XW to court to get more time with there son. His X told me she will go for full custody with supervised visitation if he takes her back to court. I just feel bad for there son the most. He tells his mom he wants to live with his dad all the time and not her anymore. I think sometimes the only reason he is saying this is because his dad gets him just about anything he wants. Last week end he bought him every computer game/learning thing he wanted for his new computer. His son is 6 and he has his own computer. I don't even have my own computer and I refuse to use his because I know he can find out which web sites I go to he is very smart when it comes to computers. His son has his own tv in his room, dvd, vcr palyer I don't know how many DVD's/movies he has. Books, games the list goes on and on. Aghhhhhh....Sorry just needed to let loose. Yes I will admit I am falling back into that thing with "Oh he is not that bad". It feels like a long time since he has hit me. Verbal attacks are still there. So I am hanging in there. Thanks again for your advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 2:53pm

No, I agree completely with you in regards to your H and the buying of his son.


He's buying the loyalty of his son, not because he loves him, but because he doesn't want her to have him.

CL-Blueliner4