how to choose a therapist..

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
how to choose a therapist..
1
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 1:41am

so today I saw my usual therapist (I try to see her 1-2 times a month). Usually all I get is more of a "nod", when I really was looking for more feedback, more validation. I speak 95% and she 5%. And then I pay my $15 copay. After I come home, I am like I could have done better things with that copay money.

So is this the usual? I have tried another therapist..but she was worse..she had no warmth in her. I also tried one other person and she was promising but insurance doesn't take her so it was something I couldn't afford after one visit.

So I guess, question is - what really should a therapist be doing? Either it is just repeating same thing every time..without really addressing underlying cause. Ok, few months back, she tried this eft therapy..but i found it silly.

I like to get more real feedback and more than just saying ''hmm..so what do you think?"

So looking for people who had good experience with therapists -what did they really provide? and frustratedwith3,what would you do..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 10:45am

There are many different types of therapy techniques. Different people respond to different techniques...it sounds like you have not found a therapist that uses a technique that you respond to...from the sounds of what you are saying you want (feeling validated etc) you might look for someone who does Cognative Behavior Therapy...this technique will challenge what you are/were thinking and why and get you thinking about different options...that way the therapist is doing more than nodding and humming at you....more conversation and such.

You also want to find someone who KNOWS about DV...some have heard about DV but dont really get it....I remember in one class a group was doing a presentation on DV and I was doing all I could to not scream at them....what they were presenting were things that would 100% destroy the victim...so some people think they know and can help with DV but in reality they dont truly get it...I have a friend who was asked by her client if she experienced DV and she said no so the client walked out on her...but I can attest that my firend does get it because we talk often and I share with her some of the things that I struggle with and we work it out...or I work it out aloud so she can see what is going on...so she is a pretty good DV therapist...so the therapist doesnt have to experience it first hand but she or he does need to get it to be helpful.

Be brave, if you are not getting from the therapist what you need then speak up and let that person know they are not cutting it...they can make changes in the technique they are using or will perhaps help you find someone who would be a better fit for you....

Just some ideas for you