How to deal with family and friends sudden change in point of view
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|Sun, 08-26-2012 - 3:47pm|
I've recently filed for D.
My mom's first reaction was that STBX would take the kids away or worse kill both myself and the children. My brother at first congratulated me on taking this very first step in getting away from him. He wanted me to make false accusation of physical abuse and threats with the police in order to get an RO and then I could change the locks. He was afraid he would take the kids away and insisted I remove even their expired passports from the home.
And now that STBX got the D papers and his response was attempting to have flowers delivered, and painting the house...
My mom told him he needs to control his anger and we should go to marriage counseling. My brother told him to leave for 2 weeks, let school start and then sit with a common friend or counselor to work things out. He repeated this to me profusely. I am being portrayed as mean and cold, because they think I am divorcing for money. Money is part of it, because with the emotional abuse came heavy economical abuse, which I want to stop because I want to give my children a future and not be forced to follow him in his destructive ways...
How has anyone dealt with this? What do I tell them? I look like the bad guy, because I want what's best for my children. He has never been physically abusive with me or the kids, and somehow, that makes him OK in their eyes, and all the broken items and heirloom they see as just anger episodes. It's strange that strangers, and acquaintances and work collages that don't know him have a better understanding and more empathy than my closest family. For example the work colleague who told the flower delivery guy to send the flowers back ask me afterwards what's up? I told her I had asked for a divorce and my H wasn't taking it well. She immediately got a sense of what kind of situation I was in and has been very supportive.
I almost feel like not talking to my family until all is said and done. I feel betrayed.