How do I get out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
How do I get out?
3
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:17pm
My "fiance" has been living with me, and I have gotten to the point that I can't take it anymore. He constantly looks for reasons to fight, verbally abuses me, keeps me from having a normal life, and I walk on eggshells and pretend everything is ok just to avoid making him mad or setting him off. I've told him to move out so many times when we are fighting, that he has finally started looking at places to live....(slowly!) I want to ease out of this relationship safely. I just want it to be over, but i feel like if I told him that, his temper would go off, and he will distroy my home, or do something scary out of anger, or simply make my life miserable in some way.
It's like a roller coaster, he is so good at making everything my fault in some way or making me feel guilty for the way things are going.
My lifes a mess and I just want to be happy again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:38pm

Hi ceejae,
First of all,so sorry for what you're going through.I can totally sympathize.
The problem with "easing" out of an abusive relationship is that most often times the abuser is unwilling to go.They'll do or say anything to get you to reconsider.So don't count on him walking out on his own free-will.If he gets violent,or angry to the point where you feel afraid, call 911 immediatly.I'm sure they'll be happy to remove him! Stay safe,

Serenity

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2006
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 8:14am
Thank you, you are probably right. We have already had one run in where he was taken to jail for forcing me out of the car onto the side of the road and making me walk home one night... And actually last night, I asked him how the house-hunt was going, and he flew into a rage telling me that it wasnt his top priority bc his job is so stressful right now, and that I was "treating him like s***" for bringing it up. I hope this is over soon somehow or another!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 1:10pm

I understand that you are afraid, these people can be very dangerous.I want you to know that you do not have to wait for him to "physically" abuse you. If he's screaming at you, calling you names or breaking things you have every right to call the police.If you are afraid for your safety,you should go and check into getting a po now,to have him removed...don't wait for him to hurt you. Tell them everything he has done, and that you have asked him to leave and that you are afraid of him.My heart goes out to you.Please keep posting.

Serenity