how do i handle this later?
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how do i handle this later?
| Tue, 03-30-2004 - 9:55am |
i posted here yrs ago when my h was addicted to porn. he also is abusive mentally, emotionally and verbally. i've had my breaking pts but by the time he is donw with me i actually do think it is my fault. well, i haven't felt anything for him in awhile. i have 2 kids and am 5 months preg. i have been having troubles with this one- bleeding, cramping, placenta praevia.the last time i had had it was about 2 yrs ago i made him leave BUT he came in less than 24 hrs- but i gave him an ultimatum, one more pic, ANYTHING that is it, you are out. well, he agreed. if he has he's been incredibly good at hiding it. he hides everything well, his emotions, himself. now, about the time i got preg i collapsed during it b/c it was making me sick. i started crying and said i couldn't bring myself to do it with him b/c i felt like i had no idea who he was and i don't feel the same about him. after hrs of telling him i could see somewhat he felt bad and said he WOULD try and if he didn't get better he'd leave. well, insults, put downs, several talk-to laters, he says that it's me now. he keeps wanting from me sex and i can't due to dr's orders. i do other things that make me sick but here i am finding out now that sunday when he was not the least bit interested in that it was b/c he looked at over 40 different videos/pix etc of really NASTY sites, given there are all disgusting, it just really hit. how am i supposed to bring this up? it really makes me sad that he chose to do this one day then to spend a lifetime with me...but then again i do want out. i can't take him anymore. he won't even get a better job or 2nd one to support us and i have to go get a 2nd job while he works 24 hrs a week! even on top my problems. the stress can't be good, but by the time he is done with yelling and screaming it'll be the same "how can you say it is so bad when others have it so much worse?" i know others do, but this is not great either. i cannot function anymore. he makes me feel i need him to breathe yet, i am the one who keeps this family on its feet, bill paying, 2-3 jobs at a time , pre-k homework, phone calls EVERYTHING. he hides after working him 24-29 hrs a week doing whatever, pc or video games, who knows...he says he'll never leave... me leaving is like leaving the mafia- you don't get out alive- isn't that just stupid...?
SR
SR
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| Tue, 03-30-2004 - 10:38am |
Yes, it is stupid him saying that.
