How do I leave?
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| Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:40pm |
Hi all,
Please respond to me via email: jennysbelly@gmail.com. I do not have privacy on my computer, and I don't get to check the boards.
I live with a man I love, who is verbally and physically abusive. I know better, and I can't make myself leave because I am in love with him. I don't understand how I can love someone who hurts me, I really don't.
Recently, we moved one state over and purchased our first house. We have no children, are unmarried, but do have a family member living with us. He is in high school and has no where else to go.
I'm starting to realize that I have to leave. That my boyfriend won't change -- he doesn't see the need to change -- but I don't know what to do. Neither of us can afford the house alone, and he won't talk to me about a real breakup. He doesn't take me seriously, and he says he will not break the committment to the house or to the child living with us. I don't know what my rights are since we are unmarried, and I am afraid to go to a lawyer. I've never told anyone about the abuse, and I am so afraid. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, and I don't fear him trying to prevent me from leaving. I prevent myself from leaving because I am afraid of being alone, and I really do love the person I thought he was, but I don't know what the truth is.
I'm devastated that this relationship has to end, and I know it is not my fault, but I feel like if I tell my family what has been going on, they will take matters out of my control. I have spent my whole adult life with this man, and I want to be in control of my own life.
I'm scare to post this, but I will.
Thanks,
Jenny

Oh boy girl, you sound like met, tied to a house. I am working towards not caring about money, the house or anything else. You are right. It is hard. The one thing I am thankful for is that WE DO NOT HAVE KIDS TOGETHER! Keep it that way. I love my H and he is such an a** most of the time, we hold onto the "good" moments. I encourage you to seek help at your local women's shelter. That is where I just started last week
and I am only going to go forward from here. You are right, he won't change, especially if he doesn't think he needs to. So, good luck to you! Keep posting;)
Thanks. I know that is what I should do. Call the hotlines, or go to the shelter, I'm just not ready yet. I'm trying to read books, and get the courage, it is just so hard. I wish I could split him into two people -- the one I love, and the one I am scared of, but I know they are the same person and I can't wrap my brain around it.
Jenny
This is my first post here.
I came today because I am living with a man who is a convicted felon and has a history of abusing women.
I need to leave. I'm a thousand miles away from my home town which I do not want to return to.
He has not physically abused me but he's doing of fine job of isolating me and now my vehicle is down and he won't fix it because he's afraid I will leave if he does.
I've never felt so lost in my entire life.
I feel I have nowhere to go.
Welcome, moya and nosir.