how do you fix it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
how do you fix it?
2
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 4:02am
I was just told by a court mediator that i was nder the domestic violence protection. I didn't realize that i was a victim. xh never hit me or daughter. all he would do is be mean and say things all the time. i eventually stopped talking to my sister to make him happy. he talked me into leaving a great paying job and staying home with baby until he started affair. then everything was my fault. if it rained, it was my fault.

he demolished my self esteem and finances. My credit is toast, he controlled the money so i couldnt see the affair.

Part of my family realizes what he put me through and everyone can see the different me. I cant make decisions without being paralyzed in fear. dealing with him about our daughter makes me ill and has caused so much stress it made my mom diabetic. it also affects my health daily.

How do you fix it? How do you stand up to him and retake control of your life? I don't like being this way, especially around my young daughter. i want to be stronger but don't know how.

he destroyed my body image and i have gained weight from this also. can't stop really. even with exercise.

please help. i have no where else to turn.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 6:33am
MC

You need to contact the local shelter and get into some counseling. Take time to read all the resources available here. Don't worry about your finances right now, worry about yourself. You can't fix him, but you definitely can start working to fix yourself.Everything you are feeling is normal. He only destroyed you temporarily. Try to have no contact with him. If there are times that you have to deal with him because of your daughter, have someone else do it. The affects of verbal abuse are, to say the least, devastating. There will be mountains to climb before you will be able to understand what happened. You can do it though!

Hugs,

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 12:55pm

Hi Mc2, and welcome -


Newcam is right, contacting your local shelter right now is your best step.

CL-Blueliner4