how the heck do you afford a lawyer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
how the heck do you afford a lawyer?
6
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:46pm
Right now it's a very quiet honeymoon phase, but I am still plannning on leaving when I find out what type of position I'm going to look for. (This actually makes sense to me, sorry)

But, on that note, how in the world do people afford attorney's? Put it hubby's ballpark, it'll never happen.

I'm just curious, as this will one of the next steps I have to undertake.

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 2:19pm

There's a lot of ways you can do this:


First, Legal Aid.

CL-Blueliner4

Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 2:21pm
Hi Lori --

Well, first you need to assess how "difficult" the divorce is going to be. For example, if there are children involved and, in the past, he has threatened to take them, then you will certainly need an attorney to assist you with the custody issues that are sure to arise. If, on the other hand, you don't have children, have very little assets or personal property, and/or an agreeable spouse (amenable to your custody, property and asset concerns and fair-minded re: any spousal or child support), the divorce can be fairly simple and some of the women here (Cl-Bama for one; Chaotican, etc..) have done it themselves. If you have significant assets, equity in a home or other major concerns (like custody), then an attorney who is skilled/experienced with Domestic Violence will be important. Research in selecting the "right" attorney is critical and there are articles on the homepage and at womenslaw.org that will provide you some important questions to ask when you are interviewing attorneys. In terms of affording them, well this isn't easy, but I know when I was interviewing attorneys I did find several that agreed to give me a flat fee of around $2K (provided it was uncontested). A contested divorce (where one of the parties will not come to the negotiating table and/or agree to fair settlement terms) can be EXTREMELY costly (I was in nearly $15,000 just to reach temporary orders -- hadn't even seen the courtroom yet). Of-course, both parties would incur like costs and often this is incentive enough for the abuser to agree to a do-it-yourself divorce. This was not an option for me because my X was an attorney and he would have steam rolled me if I went bare (without council). The best resources for free or reduced fee legal assistance are the Domestic Violence Shelters, groups or coalitions in your area. Start with the names they provide and ask every potential resource for additional free or low-cost referrals. Often attorneys will allow you to reduce your fees if you agree to do some of the work -- i.e. run documents to the courthouse, make your own files, etc.. Many will also construct payment plans. It is good that you are starting to think about these types of things now. Having a well designed plan can make a huge difference in your ability to execute it. ~~many gentle hugs your way
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 3:16pm
Hi Lori. I just wanted to share a little info about the legal aid. That is what I'm doing. The specialize in DV so are better able to assist in my situation. They are providing me w/free services. This is something I never expected. There are organizations out there that help in these situations. You just have to search for them. I found mine through the coalition against domestic violence, which I found on the site blue mentioned. They also provided a safety plan for me and my family and shelter if needed. I'm also going to have an RO placed on my h for free. This is something that I stressed about for months. Not getting out of this w/any money left. But, it is possible. Just keep looking. They are out there. It was like a huge weight off my shoulders when I got on-line and started looking around, calling, and finally finding what I found. Good luck on your search.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 3:36pm
Thank you for the replies. I guess I am embarrassed to go to a domestic violence shelter as in this state, only physical violence is deemed abuse. There is nothing in the statute about emotional (although it does mention threats).

My husband makes decent money, but as he continuously reminds me, it's his money. I make a small but satisfactory wage at my church job (considering it's generally only half a day of work each week). So I don't know if they'd look at just my income, or both. I will have to speak to an attorney to find out for sure.

Thank you also for your words of support on my planning, I feel like I'm (at least) trying to do the right things for myself and our youngest son, may have let my oldest son down, but he's acted on his own.

I also have places I can live temporarily, one is 1600 miles away from here, but the other is relatively close by. I have spoken with my employer (also my pastor) and have filled him in on the situation, and have support from him that if I need to miss work, to not worry about my job or my paycheck, they will both be there for me.

Right now, one of my biggest concerns is our animals. We have 2 dogs and 3 cats. Now if he leaves there is no problem, and I know of shelters for the animals where they too will be taken care of.

There are places that take animals that have been displaced due to domestic violence. I didn't know that.

Anyway, thank you for the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 7:02pm
'There are places that take animals that have been displaced due to domestic violence. I didn't know that'How do you find these places? That would be REALLY good info to know. Is it just like a rescue or what?

Good luck with the attorney thing. Make a plan. My ex got to Legal Aid first and they groaned when the case came up as he wound up serving 18 months in the state prison for what he did to me. But they had to represent him as per their agreement. I filed for divorce myself (no kids, equity, anything) he dragged it out for 16 months. I wound up finding a real cheap attorney for $800. HE couldn't even get me divorced. It finally took the Board of Pardons telling my ex he WAS signing those papers, like it or not.

Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:50pm
http://www.hua.org/welcome/Tiaplace.html

www.hua.org

Yeah, it's a rescue sort of thing, but one thing they do is take in pets displaced by DV.

Lori