How many of your abusers hated their mom
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| Tue, 01-11-2005 - 10:56am |
? My h has a HORRIBLE relationship w/ his mom. Granted, for good reason, to some extent. He was the last of 5 kids. She & his Dad were raging alcoholics. He was left alone a lot. Felt very abandoned as a little kid. Then she remarried when Mike was about 11, to a VERY abusive alcoholic. She was beaten very badly by him more than once & he gave Mikes dog away when he was 12 yrs old - or at least he thinks (hopes) he only gave him away ... he fears he killed him. (shoot that makes me so sad). No WONDER he is so messed up.
Anyway, Mikes mom never put any limits on him. She supported him thru his 20's while he partied away & never really worked ... then *I* took over - shoot me now, lol. He hated her all this time. & still does. He is rude to her, short w/ her & yells at her - basically, he treats her with NO respect what-so-ever, jsut as he does ME. Its is disgusting to witness, truly. She is now elderly & very good to us. She doesnt have much, but she is always there for me & my dd, she has little contact w/ him b/c she gets SO upset at how he treats me, & her. She wants to come stay w/ us for a week over Avereys bday (she is in FLA in the winter) but says she is "afraid she cant be around Mike for a week, it will upset her too much". I mean, how SAD is that??? My mother & i were SO close ... i cant fathom not loving your mother ... but then again, i have no reason not to love & respect my Mom. He has SO many issues that i bet stem from this anger towards her. & my mom ALWAYS said "never marry a man who doesnt love & respect his mother" ... & man, she was RIGHT! R~

Nerfy is the exact opposite, he is such a Mama's Boy.
CL-Blueliner4
Hi !
Yes, my dh has an awful relationship with his mother as well. As of late, he doesn't want anything to do with her now or the rest of his family. Granted most of it is justified. The entire family is a bunch of narcissistic assholes (pardon my french!)! When our kids were small we used to see them on a regular basis. It was always touch and go between them, somehow they seemed to get along better in the early days of our marriage. His mother was a single parent raising 3 boys and trying to make ends meet. His father died when my dh was only 2. She had one on the way when he died. I always chalked up her bossy ways to being a single mom and felt sorry for her, etc. She herself was from a large messed up family. Her father had her mother institutionalized, thus breaking up the family. Her and 2 or her brothers were sent to a very strict Catholic orphanage. She learned how to be a perfect wife and mother there (so she says), cleaning, ironing, etc. In her earlier years before being carted off to the orphanage, her father was very abusive to her. One of her punishments was to put her little hands on the red hot stove. I have heard stories that her father was just awful. I also heard that his wife never needed to be instituionalized, that her problems were minor, he just didn't know what to do with her. Scary huh??! I have given up on my mil, I tried and tried to bend over backwards to be a nice daughter in law to her. I just can't deal with her verbal abuse----and have learned I DON'T HAVE TO!! I do feel sorry for her however. I just think it's best for me and my kids to not deal with her. I could go on and on about some of the crazy stunts.
I have been reading your posts rebecca! I can relate to alot of what you have said in your posts! You have a lovely dd btw!! I liked the pics, nice to be able to put a face with a post!! :)
Take Care!
Odds are she's an abuser, too.
CL-Blueliner4