how...when you know the answer

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
how...when you know the answer
2
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 1:45pm
i don't know how i can do it. i know i have to, i'm not being fair to my relationship or myself. I know that it should end at some point. The thing is i really think he is working on his behavior and reactions, and in some ways i think it is too late. And i don't want to hurt him. But i'm just this terrible person as well-i started to kiss someone else the other night. It didn't last long but this is so inappropriate behavior. I didn't think anyone saw, apparently someone did. I just want to curl up and die. I live in a small town, very fearful that someone is going to say something. I don't know what is wrong with me.

And i don't know how to live with OUT him, either. I don't want to hurt him and it just makes me so sad. And i don't want to move away from this town necessarily either...but don't know how both of us can be here together. And i'm so scared its not the right answer. I can't stop thinking and getting emotional and i'm at work and its SOOOOO hard.

Sorry to vent but i need serious help i think. and i can't afford to see my therapist anymore, so that isn't a good option. not to mention my bf is being really "nice and good" right now. we actually had a wonderful day together the other day (minus the guilt eating away at me). However my sex drive is practically nill and he is annoyed about that, and i don't know how to change that. UGhhhhhhhhh.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:33pm
Please if you get this email me girley1219@yahoo.com. I can totally relate.

Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 11:45am

Unknown, the decision to leave is never an easy one.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you