Husband will be served on Mon. - Nervous

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Husband will be served on Mon. - Nervous
9
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 9:57am

hi all,

I started divorce proceedings against my H about 2 months ago. Thought I could do it in mediation but things are falling apart. I was actually willing to give my H a really good deal (so I've been told by several people including attorney & mediator). However, my attorney has convinced me that the deal was too good for him and we decided to make some adjustments to our request. I'm told if I pull out of mediation, I'll get a much better deal but it will take much longer to resolve.

He will be served with the new request on Monday and I suspect he will be angry. We are still in same house - we can't get him out legally 'cause he has restrained himself so I don't have reason to call cops (I've never called cops on him). Catch-22, he actually has to do something for me to get him tossed. I'm doing my best to just not be around and I won't converse with him beyond absolutely necessary. I am prepared to flee but the waiting and wondering sucks. I can't leave completely 'cause I have 3 school age children and no place to go for an extended length of time (new to town - no family near).

Just needed to express this. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 3:58pm
Hey good luck and I will be checking on Monday to see how things are going.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 4:39pm

Good Luck to you on Monday!!... I will keep you in my thoughts. Keep us posted.

Lauren :o)

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 7:50pm
Hang in there, and good luck! Do keep us posted!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 7:59pm

Green, is there a shelter nearby for backup?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 4:35pm

Thanks for the good wishes. Nothing yet but he won't get home from work until late. I plan on being in my room with the door locked (went to Home Depot and bought new lock today).

Anyhow, thanks for the advice on the shelters. I actually have them on speed dial on my cell which is never off my person. Emergency bag is packed and in the car etc. As for the police, this is a very small town and I've actually met a large percentage of the force during school events.

I will update everyone on Tuesday. Hopefully, I'm overreacting but I know you can never be too careful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 10:31pm
Hey I will be looking for your post tomorrow....hope it goes as well as it could under the circumstances....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2006
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 4:42pm

Hi All,

Here is the update. H has been on super good behavior (i think his attorney talked to him about appropriate behavior - he has been warned to stay away from me).

Anyhow, beyond turning down my proposed settlement (which i expected) he hasn't done anything. He keeps telling me to come up with a proposal but then will turn down anything I present without offering a counter proposal. Very passive agressive behavior don't you think. Anyhow, the mediator put an end to that by telling him it was his turn to come to the table. We'll see what he comes up with. The man makes 300grand a year and is complaining that by taking 1/3 i will make him poor. Lets see, I can easily live with three children on 1/3 but he can't support himself with 2/3. Hmmm can anyone say cheepskate.

I'll keep everybody posted as time goes on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sat, 10-21-2006 - 1:56am

Hey - glad to here the update. Glad he has been on super behavior also.....

the passive aggressive behavior is crazy isn't it??? I deal with that too. I was told he will "let me" stay in the house with my daughter, but as far as legal things go there was no way he was going to give me the house or any part of it. In which case I told him I have legal rights....

Yes keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2006
Sun, 10-22-2006 - 6:46am
I am in England...here he would be out of the house on a court order because of the children..try not to worry too much when I divorced my husband he would phone every day to tell me by which method he was going to kill me he got very inventive no two methods were the same then after at first feeling afraid I realised it was all talk... carry on if he does use violence he looses everything and I think hes too crafty for that..Can you get a personal panic alarm linked to your local police station ???Also go to your doctor tell him or her your fears then you have a witness if he does something stupid.have you a friend or relative who can stay for a few days ?? I will be thinking of you,be strong hes just trying to intimidate you..good luck.